Why blacks don’t go to National Parks

Why don’t blacks visit National Parks? DUH. Because the dirt and soil remind them of slavery. Obviously. This was revealed when ABC News ran a story last month profiling Yosemite National Park Ranger Shelton Johnson.

According to Mr “first and only black ranger at Yosemite” (cuz that’s significant for some reason), blacks are also so tribal and easily led that if Oprah or Snoop Dog would just recreate at a park now and then, that would let the dark-skins across the nation know that these areas are safe for their kind too. After first asking why stats on the race of park attendee’s are taken anyway (which I giggled at even though I took the mention of visitor-race to be Johnsons eyeballing and not official stat-counting, but who the hell knows), John Stossel (who works for ABC but was not involved with this piece) asked on a blog “Why must racism be the first thing to which some people assign blame for every problem, real or imagined?”

Debbie Schlussel has a theory:

Hmmm . . . maybe the reason they don’t like national parks is that Yosemite’s only Black ranger wears two earrings, if ya know what I mean. Maybe Blacks don’t go to national parks because they don’t want to. Maybe they prefer something else for their free time. Why is this a problem? It’s their business what they choose to do with their free time and their free choice, not a national crisis that needs to be socially engineered otherwise.