Voice of Plucky Duck, Joe Alaskey, dead at 63

My childhood hero, Plucky Duck has fallen.

Joe Alaskey, who also voiced Grandpa from Rugrats and – to paraphrase the words of a line from the theme of the Plucky Duck Show – “Lots of other characters, but who cares who they are“. Plucky is all that matters and todays loss of his vocal provider is a day of mourning.

Plucky of course was a character born out of the magnificent show, Tiny Toon Adventures, which was the one and only valid product of the early 90s “younger version of familiar characters boom” after networks scrambled recycle their intellectual property and ride the Muppet Babies success wave. In Tin Toons, the characters weren’t younger versions of their counterparts (in this case, the WB lineup), but rather toons-in-training seeking to be the next crop of such characters. As far as I was concerned, however, the show was merely a vehicle to showcase Plucky: a green tank top wearing mallard who idolized Daffy Duck and likewise was constantly hatching schemes revolving around his greed and egotistical pursuit of personal glorification.

From the Tiny Toons opening theme:
Plucky Duck typing at typewriter: “The Scripts were rejected…”
Giant Plucky head popping out of typewriter: “Expect the unexpected!”
-Fkking brilliant….

Here is Alaskey announcing the Plucky Duck show (my favorite cartoon of all time) spinoff from Tiny Toons that only lasted a few episodes but was glorious (I still listen to the mp3 rip of the theme song fairly regularly) and explaining how he came up with Plucky’s voice. The deconstruction that he did a Daffy Duck inflection and switched the frontal lisp to be a lateral lisp is simple yet brilliant.

Here’s the original Tiny Toons theme (one of the best in the history of cartoons):

On the Tiny Toons Christmas Special I remember jumping out of my skin with excitement during the “It’s a Wonderful Life” parody in where Buster Bunny was shown an alternate reality where Plucky was the star of Tiny Toons. Buster (and presumably the audience) is supposed to be horrified by this but I was so excited and inspired that it could well be said that the real birth of Richardland was born at that very moment…

This spawned the pre-mentioned spinoff in where that gag was turned into an actual 13 episode show with this brilliant stupendous awesome opening:

It is with a heavy heart that I vow to carry on the Plucky legacy…

Reminder: Holocaust victims weren’t killed in ovens…

I hate to go and ruin the fun in historical acts of genocide, but this seemingly minor detail of a myth is one worth straightening out: victims of the Nazi’s weren’t killed in ovens.

This historical correction comes on the heels of a quote getting buzz by critics of Mike Huckabee who, in a condemnation of the Obama administrations nuclear deal with Iran (a nation dedicated to “wiping Israel off the map” in one way or another).

The actual quote isn’t anything remarkable, but got a lot of coverage because of the specific holocaust reference he used.

“This president’s foreign policy is the most feckless in American history. It is so naive that he would trust the Iranians. By doing so, he will take the Israelis and march them to the door of the oven. This is the most idiotic thing, this Iran deal. It should be rejected by both Democrats and Republicans in Congress and by the American people. I read the whole deal. We gave away the whole store. It’s got to be stopped.”

As a political story, this doesn’t interest me because there’s no reason it should. The Left tried to exploit it as a big deal. It was misconstrued as every Nazi-related analogy is. Other 2016 Primary Republicans had to play the “agree or disagree with what the Left says is a big deal” game (Rick Santorum said right-onJeb Bush said tone it down). Huckabee doubled down on the sentiment. blah blah blah.

But what no one is mentioning in any of the coverage is the misleading history in the comment. Jews weren’t “marched to the ovens” in the holocaust. Ovens weren’t a method of slaughter.

It’s an easy mix-up to make since the holocaust is known for mass killing and mass body burning, so skipping over the part where the bodies were dead and mashing it with the part where people were murdered in unconventional methods is a common jumble. I used to be one of the mixer-uppers. Around 2008 when I was baking a pizza and I opened the lid, causing the wave of heat to hit me in the face, I had an immediate empathic PTSD-style flashback of how holocaust victims had to have felt dying this way. Everyones worst way to die is burning, and even if you’re not claustrophobic – the addition of being in a casket sized space is a tremendous horror. Everyone who has had a loved one cremated has had their mind go to the morbid “what if” thought of their own death being misdiagnosed somehow and waking up just as they were being put into the crematory oven. *shudder*


Survivors of the Dachau concentration camp demonstrate the operation of the crematorium by preparing a corpse to be placed into one of the ovens. Dachau, Germany, April 29-May 10, 1945. Credit.

But if there’s a bright side to horrific senseless mass murder, there is the comfort that this didn’t happen in the concentration camps of the holocaust. Back when I had my pizza vision, I looked up how many people died this way and could only find one or two instances of a prisoner being put into a crematorium oven alive as a special punishment.

I blame for this myth, the intentionally-offensive joke regarding exactly this connection between the best thing on earth (pizza) and the worst thing on earth (burning alive) that goes “Q: What’s the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A: the pizza doesn’t scream when you put it in the oven.” Womp womp. But you’ll be shocked to find out that the normally reliable factually rigorous nature of anti-semitism has, in this instance, failed on accuracy. Idk about you, but I did Nazi that coming.

But for real, guys: Victims murdered by the Nazi’s were shot or gassed to death en masse. Their bodies were carried to crematoriums afterward. Yet a lot of people, evidently a 2016 Presidential candidate included, seem to think mass oven killing went on in the holocaust.

While Huckabee didn’t explicitly state the historical inaccuracy, it’s implied in the term “marching to the door” and he continued the implication that people were murdered by ovens when commenting on the comment afterward:

“When I talked about the oven door, I have stood at that oven door,” he said. “I know exactly what it looks like, 1.1 million people killed. For 6,000 years, Jews have been chased and hunted and killed all over this Earth, and when someone in a government says we’re going to kill them, I think, by gosh, we better take that seriously.”

It’s the Iranians who used the word Holocaust first, Huckabee said, and refused during the negotiations to recognize Israel’s right to exist.”

“They refused to tone down their rhetoric and said the Holocaust did not exist and that they’re going to wipe Israel off the map,” he said. “When people in a government position continue to say they’re going to kill you, I think somebody ought to wake up and take that seriously.”

Not withstanding dopiness of his Appeal to Authority fallacy in saying he saw the ovens in person (and I saw them on a Bing search alongside disturbing juxtapositions of actual ovens. So what?)…

 

-the rest of what he said is at least accurate. Iran brought up the holocaust first so if someone thinks the Obama deal with Iran empowers the enemy-state (as it does) then it’s not a wildly off base comment – just in-artfully stated (he should have said that it potentially makes such a march, not that it does).

 

After Robin Williams’ suicide, this Zelda commercial becomes super dark and sad…

First thing I thought of when I heard the news that Robin Williams was dead at 63, and seemingly at his own hands succumbing to his depression was the Zelda, Ocarina of Time video game commercials him and his daughter were in. Williams named his daughter Zelda, after the princess in the video game and I found the short spot touching while he was alive and crushing now that he’s dead. Williams, looking like how I imagined The Giver (from the book we had to read in 6th grade that is soon to be a lame-looking movie) calls his daughter “magical” in that Williams-y love and pain mix smile that I thought took on a new form in this commercial when I first watched it and is why I immediately recalled it when I heard he had killed himself.

Watch the extended version and maybe cry a little tonight…

Condolences to his family.

His wife, Susan Schneider, said: “This morning, I lost my husband and my best friend, while the world lost one of its most beloved artists and beautiful human beings. I am utterly heartbroken. On behalf of Robin’s family, we are asking for privacy during our time of profound grief. As he is remembered, it is our hope the focus will not be on Robin’s death, but on the countless moments of joy and laughter he gave to millions.”

UPDATE: Robins last tweet was wishing Zelda a happy birthday. ug… 🙁

Offensive Image circulates after Kim Jong il’s Death

This picture is being posted around the interwebs of the display case of dead dictator Kim Jong-il and some have asked if it is in bad taste or makes you a bad person for posting it…

YES you are a frigging terrible person for posting this. whomever made this image should be ASHAMED of themselves. the insensitivity of switching princes is outrageous. YES, prince Phillip and Prince Unnamed [from snow white] are both princes who awaken a “dead” princess with a kiss but to just swap them out like they’re nothing? to just show one and then with no warning replace him with a completely different prince is just… i just. i cant… fa;klsdfhjl;aksdghj;lkahs. im so fkking mad i could spit. GOOD DAY

Ding Dong Kim Jong is Dead

When I heard that Lil Kim died, I was devastated but when they clarified that it was jus the pot bellied 2 foot tall evil dictator of North Korea Kim Jong-Il, I was like “aww. daz okay den”. Fo Reel.

The death reports say he died from being “overworked”. Uh ya. just like “everyone in North Korea has enough to eat”.

He should have taken a note from Diabetes (some comedian has in his standup: “why don’t they call it LIVE-abetes?”):

Via EW: Kim Jong-il was a secretive man but his good friend General Aladeen (the character played by Sacha Baron Cohen in the new movie The Dictator) gave us all a rare glimpse into the North Korean dictator’s private life today with a personal statement on the passing of his beloved badminton partner, released today via Huffington Post.

“I am saddened to learn of the passing of my dear friend Kim Jong-Il. Our thoughts go out to his wife and 813 children. “K-Jo” was a great leader, good friend and average double’s badminton partner. He died as he lived, in 3-inch lifts. An extraordinary man, he did so much to spread compassion, wisdom and uranium throughout the world.”

Aladeen concluded by welcoming Kim’s successor, Kim Jong-un, into the “Axis of Evil.” But I thought you had to pledge first?

UPDATE: Here’s the Trailer for The Dictator:

even better?:

Michelle Duggar loses baby, mullet

Item:

An Arkansas woman who stars on the TLC reality show “19 Kids and Counting” has suffered a miscarriage after announcing she was expecting her 20th child.

Jim Bob Duggar said in a statement that he and his wife, Michelle, were told at a doctor’s appointment Thursday morning that she had miscarried. He says she is resting comfortably at home and asked for privacy.

Michael Jacksons Dead Body

Hey. psst…. hey kids… you wanna see Michael Jacksons dead body?…

Stfu. Of course you do. We all do. That part is normal and natural and fine. What isn’t fine is that we have the ability to. wtf, government? This isn’t Freedom of Information Act material. it should have never been released. but it was. so i’m posting it. not under some lame principal of “because I can” but because the dude was a very public figure and these things satisfy morbid curiosities in us.

So here he is. and now we know: if you don’t want the world to see pictures of your dead body, produce the murder of 3 thousand innocent civilians, NOT catchy music. Continue reading Michael Jacksons Dead Body