2 months later and iPads with iOS 5 STILL can’t play Podcasts or Audiobooks

The iOS 5 update from October 2011 introduced the following issues that have yet to be fixed:

1 The playback speed control for podcasts has gone

2 Chapter support in audiobooks has gone

3 The 30 second rewind button for podcasts has gone

4 Customizable menu so podcasts and audiobooks can be moved to the front page

5 Podcast count–You now have to open each podcast “folder” to see the number of unplayed podcasts

6 Time elapsed/remaining–used to be able to look at a podcast/audiobook and determine how far along you were. Now it has to be the active track.

7 Link to more episodes has gone

Please give us back these useful features and address the bug(s). iOS 5 is exciting but for podcasts on the iPad it is a great disappointment, and very unworthy of Apple.


iOS Updates Australian Voice Recognition. Podcasts still play at half speed

This is the biggest fail I’ve ever experienced with Apple. This is Microsoft Windows level of wait time for something that desperately needs attention.

iOS 5 for the iPad plays audio books and podcasts at half the speed with no way to change it. You’re supposed to have half, normal and 2x options.

FINALLY an update was released. and it addressed a bunch of bullshit that isn’t nearly as important. Thanks for that..

iOS for iPad makes your Podcasts Retarded

Don’t upgrade to iOS 5 on your iPad if you listen to Podcasts or Audiobooks.

Apple hid the Podcasts button in a “more” menu so you have to give an extra tap to get to them and the ability to control the speed (1/2x, 1x or 2x) is gone. Whats worse is that everything plays at 1/2 speed with no option to change it.

Issue not present in iOS for iPhone/iPod.

Please stop taking away features in new updates, Apple. hiding the podcasts in a menu that users are not allowed to rearrange (like they can on the iPod/iPhone) and taking away the speed feature, forcing all podcasts and audiobooks to play at half speed? Really, Apple?

UPDATE: Reuters reports iCloud problems:

Some users reported losing their email access as Apple formally launched iCloud, an online communications, media storage and backup service, on Wednesday.

Apple’s new operating system for the iPhone, iPad and iPod Touch — iOS 5 — also annoyed many users who encountered hours-long delays in downloading and installation.

Investors have high hopes for iCloud, which replaces MobileMe, a collection of Web-based products that have failed to impress critics or generate substantial revenues for a company that has had success in most other ventures over the past decade.

“It failed in a very nasty way in that mail sometimes vanished, sometimes appeared then vanished, and often there was a user and/or password-incorrect message plus some rather obscure additional error messages,” said David Farber, a professor of engineering and public policy with Carnegie Mellon University.

“The behavior suggests program problems,” added Farber, a well-known computer scientist.

But the iCloud problems are especially embarrassing for Apple, as the company introduced the new online service with much fanfare in June at its annual developer forum.

Co-founder Steve Jobs, who died last Wednesday, said “it just works” when he introduced the service in June. The software is key to the new iPhone 4S, which will be launched on Friday in seven countries.

Scrubber controls available are nothing like what’s in the iPad documentation PDF for ios5:

iOS 4 finally goes online

After failing to meet the projected date for the latest release of Apples mobile operating system, the company has finally delivered a week later.

Apple plays Software Updates the way I play Just The Tip… they withhold even the basics for weeks, promising an upgrade, leaving our mouths to water with anticipation for something that should have been included on day one and then when we finally get it, its like a party instead of an anti-climactic let down. Well played, Jobs. I know the technique well…

FINALLY we can have the luxury of running more than one application at a time on the iPad (like listen to music and surf the web. I’m spelling it out for history to reflect how ridiculous it was that in 2010, a major electronics company actually released a wildly popular product that made you choose between tasks like listening to god damn music and browsing websites).

FINALLY I can make folders. Yes… the ability to make god damn folders on the iPad is one of the new features being rolled out today. This is pathetic.

Also some new stuff for the iPhone. idk.

Volcano causes chaos, ash-trandedness

Volcanic ash from Iceland left a bunch of people unable to travel since I guess planes can’t fly through thick smokey earth-dust that gets shot up into the sky (pussies). The leader of Norway was one of those people stranded in NY by Iceland’s volcano but it was cool cuz he ran the country with his iPad. In other news–You can run Norway without multi-tasking

nice. and almost as good as this horrible non-pun headline from FoxNews.com that doesnt make any sense:

Ash-tranded?… the f#ck?… it doesnt meaning anything, it doesnt sound like “stranded”. its not a vernacular slang. its just, like my foreplay, fkkn weird and awkward, leaving others disappointed and confused.

Alice for iPad

The official statement:
Download it now from the app store! Tilt your iPad to make Alice grow big as a house, or shrink to just six inches tall. This is Alice in Wonderland digitally remastered for the iPad. Play with the White Rabbit’s pocket watch – it realistically swings and bounces. Help Alice swim through a Pool of Tears. Or hand out sweets that bounce and collide with the magical talking Dodo. This wonderful lite edition is the first instalment [sic] of Alice’s journey and includes an amazing selection of animated scenes. Watch as full screen physics modelling bring the classic illustrations to life.

The iPad Approacheth

With availability of the iPad, just weeks away, millions of people like me CAN’T WAIT till it hits stores!…so we can go to our local Apple store to play with it for free and then go home without buying one…

Tens of thousands of others, however, are excited about actually OWNING one though. I would be too if it had half the features it should, and I each one of their absence (no multi-tasking, no camera and less functionality of a real computer at above-Netbook price) is a deal breaker for me, especially considering how easy their inclusion would be. The purposeful holding-back so the 2.0 and beyond versions have lots of room for improvement is obnoxious.

Almost as obnoxious as the device’s absence of Flash…

This official commercials from HP Computers Youtube account touts their new device’s superiority to the iPad (without mentioning the iPad by name of course) because it has Flash. The video is titled “NEW! Web, Flash & Air on Slate Device from HP” in a non-specific slam on the iPad’s frustrating lack of Flash, going on to say in the description “Access the full web and not just a part of it!“.

That’s the short version. The teaser with the one line touting. But HP went further with this 5 minute long demonstration of just how Flashy this Flash enabled Flash Player device is. What was subtle in the first video is pounded hard in the following video that translates to “Wanna watch MTV on your tablet device? stay away from the iPad. Apple loyalist? have fun playing your Spongebob maze games on it, SUCKER!”

Alan Tam from Adobe Flash Product Marketing walks us through Adobe Flash and Adobe Air functionalities on HP’s upcoming slate device. Learn how you can access the full web, and not just a part of it.

Indeed, if the device is price-compatible or even competitive with the iPad, has all the same features and has the added advantage of not banning the thing that makes watching videos on sites like Hulu possible, its hard to see why anyone would view the Apple product as superior – EXCEPT for the inevitable situation an HP Tablet user will find themselves in where someone see’s them holding the interactive tablet device and says “oh cool, is that the iPad?” and when the awkward reply of “no.. its an HP Slate Device…” comes, the significantly less impressed “…oh…cool..[i guess]”. The deep burn of that negative wow-factor may just be the thing that keeps Apple on top of this market. After all, isn’t that the business model of the iPod and the iPhone?…

Apple deserves credit for pushing this market forward though. While these things should be commonplace by now, it was Apples announcement that has brought the others to the surface. Being first deserves kudos, but it comes with ridicule as we saw with the endless “iPad sounds like a feminine hygiene product” cracks. As that meme grows stale, new ones like the following arise.
This is a submission for a Doritos viral marketing campaign contest: