I previously covered Jennifer Love Hewitts new book, specifically its content on decorating her vagina with plastic jewelry, but A blogger at NPR (yes, National Public Radio has bloggers now) has pulled some choice quotes that will give us all the feeling of having read the whole thing:
JenLove gives us so many gifts, not the least of which is the introduction of “lol” into the printed word:
“Guys hate to spoon — they prefer to fork, lol!”
Let that sink in a little bit… You’ll need a clear mind to take in the next:
“This is embarrassing and personal, but once a month, since I was twelve years old, I go to my favorite jewelry store and try on my dream ring.” She is 31 years old. If this is true, she has made roughly 225 trips to the jewelry store to try on engagement rings. I do not know where to go with this.
…ya…
From the list of 20 Things To Do After A Breakup: “Make out with a stranger (he must be gorgeous or you’ll feel worse).”
Good lookin out on that “must be gorgeous” addendum. sure saved me!
From the list of 10 Things To Do Before A Date: “Spray tan is a must.”
Isn’t this obvious?
From the list of “Strikes,” where if a guy has three, you forget it: “He keeps saying ‘That’s so dumb’ when you’re talking.” Oh … Jennifer Love Hewitt. I’m so sorry that possibly might have happened to you once or twice or I’m assuming you might not have brought it up.
“Remember, your body is a temple, not a 7-Eleven.”
From the list of “What A Man Should Know”: “How to pick a diamond,” and “To always have a coat for you.” A coat for you? Always? He should always have a coat for you? And pick out diamonds? I am beginning to think that Jennifer Love Hewitt and I do not share exactly the same priorities vis-a-vis romantic situations and also who is in charge of choosing and transporting our clothing.
He’s also supposed to throw that jacket in the mud so you can walk over it (im assuming) on your way to the malt shop or picture show.