4 Superbowl 2016 Lowlights

OMFG! I’m so excited for this years Superbowl football team competition game!!! jk. I know nothing about the teams or even the sport and would say I am unable to care less except for the fact that I know I hope the ponies win over the kitties cuz everyone is telling me the kitties are gonna take it, so I’m betting on TeamHorse. I intend to spend the time focusing on things that actually matter and peeking my head into the Grand Hall every once in awhile when Wheeler yells that commercials are on but anything else I catch will be noted.

UPDATE: Didn’t do much as far as life-blogging the event cuz it bored me to tears so badly but go me for betting on the winners. Now here are 5 losing moments from it all:

1- National Anthem Butchery
The American National Anthem should be sung up-tempo at a brisk pace without dramatic change to the inflection of the words. Why is this formula so abhorrent to musical blowhards? Lady Gaga is more talented and has better style than the silly hair and glitter suit with matching eyelids she wore while underperforming the anthem in that drawn out goofy style. Talented singers should be using the opportunity to showcase the anthem, not their spin on it. I like the idea of a Lady Gaga style rendition of the anthem delivered in a Gaga style costume and get-up, but not this style and not this get-up. I disapproved.

2- The Black-Power Halftime Show


For historians looking back at this post, I should note that this is written in the year 2016 in America, the least oppressive, most opportunity-giving country to minorities of all kinds on the planet. Beyonce went of the deep end with a literal “black power” performance. The “literal” addition is necessary to note that it’s not a disconnected observer tsk-tsk-ing something they don’t understand in some by-gone time of cultural bubble commentating but rather an information exposed internet-connected time where the ridiculous pandering to the lowest common denominator of by-gone segregations are being bizarrely glorified. Having such a whine-fest of supposed victimhood of an entire race of people, 60 years after any law allowing any kind of government allowable suppression of a race in the midst of a black-skinned presidents 2nd term in office is so small minded and counter-productive to unity, tolerance, and general acceptance that it is the kind of thing that deserves scorn and ridicule, not celebration at such a big event. Idk what the people who approved this display where thinking. It doesn’t help anything to re-inforce victim mindedness through an empowerment message when there is no racial oppression of any significance to overcome. Be empowered because you’re a person in a free society, not because you’re a black person in a white society. Get with the times, you dummies.

#Beyoncé Super Bowl performance yesterday. #DoubleStandard#BlackPantherparty#SuperBowl50

Posted by Johnathan Gentry on Monday, February 8, 2016

3- Absent: Good Commercials. Present: Dumb Attacks on them
The only thing I watch during this event and I already forgot them all. The only ones I remember are from tangential stories about them like the monkey baby thing allegedly being a tongue twister (i have no problem saying it) and the abortion rights group NARAL getting mad at the Doritos commercial that “humanized” a human fetus. I’m fine with people choosing abortion if their pregnancy has negative affects on their Doritos or other snack chip supply but it it’s more than a little-bit-completely stupid of an argument that developing human babies shouldn’t be humanized just because it makes you feel better about snipping it outta you, should you want to. Funny that humanizing animals is encouraged but humanizing human babies – omgz! noez!

4- Ponies Beat the Kitties
Everyone told me the cat team was going to ride the horse team to an easy win so evidently this was a big upset. Good.

Holly Holm won double by being a genuine Class Act

When did Ronda Rousey become the villain? I don’t follow any kind of televised sport and that includes the the “people beating each other up” sports of MMA and UFC [those two are different things, right?], but I know Rousey as a figure and I thought I liked her (as a character, representing an image, of course. Not as a person). Thought, that is, until this Holly Holm stuff flooded the news. At first I thought everyone was being a schadenfreude-y jerk by being all “OMGZ! Bish got BEAT LOL!” about a seemingly invincible figure making the ridicule-worthy error of revealing that they are human by losing their first competition. I hate that stuff. I don’t like watching these

However… Upon further research, I am disappointed at what Ronda did to her public image and while I remain apathetic about the sport or the people involved – merely as an observer of media personality types – I am glad Holly Holm won the match and now like her both as a media figure and [what I know of her as] a person.

I’m scoring the figures by their pre-game and post-game personas.
Video of the weigh-in announcement thing that happens after the fight is decided but before it actually is set to happen sums up the 2 personality types really perfectly. Holly Holm is calm, casual, humorous (saying how she’s just hanging out and having beers beforehand) and steady in sharp contrast to Ronda Rousey’s angry, aggressive, speech-making, overly serious attitude (rushing Holm with a raised fist and poorly trash talking her with no respect and eye-roll worthy machismo).

Rousey claimed that Holm’s respectful attitude was a phony act and that she would get pummeled for it. I see no basis for that whatsoever and thus felt an approving goodness at knowing the reverse happened. The hate gushing toward Holm seems completely unmerited and born out of pure desperation. I wish Ronda didn’t go that direction purely out of media-tactic, not to mention the morality of such a path.

Holm’s respect was consistent. As soon as the fight was called in her favor after her knockout kick to Ronda’s jaw, Holm didn’t drop any kind of veneer and start screaming at the unconscious Rousey yelling variations of “WHO’S THE CHAMP NOW BITCH??” and so on. Quite the opposite – she giddily pranced for a maximum of 2.1 seconds in a manner of “OMG OMG I’m so happy at what I just accomplished!” and then immediately walked over to Rousey to check her condition in a genuine gesture and then continued to be gracious, kind and upbeat throughout the cleanup, post-interviews and press meetings for the ensuing days.

Much respect to Holly Holm for all of this. Her demeanor was role-modely in sharp contrast to Ronda Rousey’s shamefully unmerited lack of sportsmanship.
As Lady Gaga put it:

Highlights:

Miserable Congressman Sings “Meet the Mets” After Losing Bet

This is an occurrence of a light story, notable not only for the humorous premise but the comedic timing of the Congressman.

Hat tip to Tina Nguyen at Vanity Fair, whose post used the perfect headline that I doubled for this as well as the following additions:

The performance fulfilled the terms of a bet struck on October 1 between Schiff, a Los Angeles Dodgers fan, and Rep. Steve Israel, a Long Island congressman loyal to the New York Mets. Since the Mets beat the Dodgers in the playoff series, going on to clinch the National League series and a shot at the World Series, poor Schiff had to give a one-minute speech about how he lost a bet, with a Mets logo taped to his tie. “Mr. Speaker, please tell me my time is expired,” he begged at the end, before recovering with a well-placed, always-appropriate ding against the Yankees.

Rep. Schiff’s song continues a long tradition of congressmen awkwardly singing under forced conditions.

Girls taking pictures of themselves at a sports event??? OMGZ! … or something

Look at these fkkn bitches taking pictures… OF THEMSELVES! What, did they want to savor a moment in life or something?? What, did they think this was supposed to be a social event of some kind? Something fun that they might want to re-live in some capacity with visual reminders of themselves in that moment? Um. No, bishes – y’all r spose to look straight ahead and that’s it.
Guess we gotta Life-splain to these twits that when you’re in a sports arena you’re supposed to exclusively watch the event area in front of you and nothing else at any time.

A group of selfie-obsessed Arizona sorority girls were shamed at a baseball game by two MLB announcers for snapping photos of themselves for at least two minutes straight.

About a dozen unsuspecting Alpha Chi Omega sorority girls were caught on camera putting on their best duck faces as they posed with hot dogs, churros, and just about anything near them.

“Oh, hold on! Take a selfie with a hot dog. Selfie with a churro. Selfie just of a selfie!” one announcer teases.

As I’ve noted before, Selfie-shaming is for Losers. It’s a transparent club used by weak minds to drag down others they perceive as a threat to their own low self esteem. This is no different, but let me give you 8 or so reasons explaining why:

THE ACCUSERS ARE THE DRAMA QUEENS
The commentary on social media and critical reporting of the instance frames the girls as dramatic clowns but in reality it’s the commentary that is being unduly hysterical. The description above from Melissa Chan in the NY Daily News  calls the girls “selfie obsessed” for taking pictures of themselves for “two minutes straight”. I assure you all: 2 minutes is the shortest photoshoot in history. Definitely not an “obsession”. They also didn’t pose with “just about anything near them” – they took pictures of themselves and their friends and included the food they were eating… For Christ sake, they didn’t pick up debris off the floor and pose with it or go overboard in any way whatsoever. They commemorated an event in their lives with photographs. Could we stop pretending that that’s a big deal?

THEY WERE LITERALLY ASKED TO DO WHAT THEY ARE DOING…
The commentary from the announcers making fun of the girls taking the pictures comes literally directly after those same announcers read a promo asking attendees of the game to tweet their fan photos… What in the actual fkk kind of scam is this? “Hey everyone! Please join in the fun and do this thing! [wait 1.5 seconds] – Hey everyone! Look at these friggin ridiculous monkeys doing that thing we asked them to do! LOL! What a buncha maroons!”. This is like when a magician invites an audience member up on stage to “be a part of a trick” but really just ends up making an ass out of the participant because they’re not a talented enough performer to actually make them a part of the act so instead have to rely on them being the butt of their joke. Not cool. Step up your game, fools.

HEY LOSERS: THIS ISN’T 1865. PICTURES ARE FUN AND FREE.
“Loogit the one on the right” and the other guy adds “do you have to make faces when you take selfies?”. Well no, bro – you don’t HAVE to do anything while engaging in self photography. I get that you guys are old as balls but are you really dating yourself to bygone era’s where you have to pose for a photo stonefaced because it takes several minutes for the exposure of the picture to imprint on the film? Are all your family albums recreations of American Gothic, you boring hack? Then they mock the volume of pictures being taken with a bit voicing the girls alleged internal monologues with comments like “uhp – better angle”, “check it” when one of them verifies the quality of the photo just taken, and “that’s the best one of the 300 pictures I’ve taken myself today!”. Maybe y’all haven’t heard the news but: digital photographs are free, bro. If they were $10 a shot, there might be validity to some astonishment in the opulent waste of a crowd frittering this limited commodity away, but nope – it’s just tapping a pane of glass and capturing a moment in your life. What you’re mocking is attention to detail and strives for excellence, not any kind of spoiled entitlement or abuse of excess. There is no virtue in limiting the moments you capture of yourself at no expense to anyone. You’re a friggin idiot if you don’t take a half dozen snaps of the same photo with minor nuances, not a hero.

THE [FAKE] TECHNOLOGICAL MENACE STEALING OUR YOUTHS!
In a delightfully goofy case of the old trope that dictates “technology I grew up with is okay but technology kids are growing up with is SCARY”, the commentary on the girls takes an unintentionally hypocritical turn. Referring to the girls looking at the screens of their picture taking devices, the announcer says “welcome to parenting in 2015. they’re just completely transfixed by the technology” – ignoring that he is broadcasting those comments onto a screen in which millions of viewers are “completely transfixed” themselves…

WHAT EXACTLY IS THE MESSAGE HERE, AGAIN?
While using a camera to record a bunch of girls, the commentary we are supposed to accept is that girls using cameras to record themselves is a ridiculous mock-worthy event.

“YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO WATCH THE GAME!” is a stupid comment all over a large percentage of the social media reposts of people justifying the shaming. First of all: you’re supposed to pay attention to whatever is interesting. You have no obligation to watch a sporting match that is boring – but there is zero evidence that a game was even going on. As far as I can tell, this is all taking place during a break or downtime of some kind, having just come back from a commercial break apparently. That’s the whole reason the video even exists, you dummies – the announcers had nothing on the field to announce on, so the cameras trolled the stands for commentary fodder. Anyone criticizing these girls for not being fully engrossed in the sport allegedly happening in front of them should be quintuply criticizing the announcers for ignoring the same game at the same moment in time. It’s the announcers job to talk about the game, and it is sorority girls’ job to take pictures of themselves in everything they do before they aren’t cute in pictures anymore. The girls did their jobs here – the chauvinist announcers did not.

“YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO TALK TO EACH OTHER” is the other criticism of these silly chicks who thought they were attending this event to enjoy in ways that came natural them instead of following the Code of Baseball or something. NOPE – baseball is for conversations, apparently as one of the announcers says that “the beauty of baseball is you can sit next to your neighbor and have a conversation. OR you could completely ignore them”. Because evidently taking pictures with people, laughing with them, and talking to them, is “completely ignoring” them. The brief moments any of the girls are not engaging with each other by doing something on their personal screens are frequently broken up by the group activities of laughing and chatting during photographing of themselves. And remember that this is not a 2 minute montage of time lapse video from the entire game showing these girls doing nothing but taking pictures of themselves and not saying a word to each other – this is only a 2 minute span of linear time during a nothing-of-note-happening-on-field segment of the stupid baseball game. If you can’t take 2 minutes to disengage from the non-action on the field or the lulls in conversation with your neighbor, then attending a game isn’t fun – it’s punishment.

CONFISCATE THE PHONES!
The last comment the announcers make is to jokingly advocate banning phones from the stadium to prevent people from taking pictures of themselves. Wtf is that about? Why should the stadium have a monopoly on recording media of fans that – don’t forget – it solicits to record media themselves? What is the joke here? “No doing things that make me uncomfortable about the fact that no one wants to look at pictures of me”?

 

The truth is that all this is just misdirected jealousy. Selfie shaming is a retaliation to specious feelings of inadequacy brought on by the public display of people having enough self worth to think pictures of themselves have some kind of value and thus should be taken. People who have no such value in their image feel shamed by those who do and seek to tear them down publicly so that the public learns to devalue self-image in general, thereby protecting those who don’t have it.

In reality, there’s obviously nothing wrong with photographing yourself and it doesn’t inherently speak to any poor character traits, which means that it deserves no scorn or ridicule on its own.

~~

UPDATE: In response for being unjustly mocked on tv for no good reason, the girls were offered free tickets to a game. Their response is so boss that it made this entire post worth it just for that alone. Basically they said “thank you but we would like to donate those tickets to a charity instead”. Boom. Here’s the full statement:

Alpha Chi Omega at Arizona State University would like to thank the Arizona Diamondbacks and Fox Sports for reaching out to the chapter after last night’s game and subsequent media frenzy. We appreciate their generous offer of tickets to tonight’s game. However, instead of chapter members attending the game, we have asked the Diamondbacks and Fox Sports to provide tickets to a future game for families at A New Leaf, a local non-profit that helps support victims of domestic violence.

Today, October 1, marks the beginning of Domestic Violence Awareness Month. If everyone who viewed this statement took the time to make a donation in recognition of domestic violence awareness, which is Alpha Chi Omega’s national philanthropy, we would be so grateful! We are happy to have the opportunity to shed some positive light on such a sensitive subject. All proceeds will go directly to A New Leaf to help struggling Arizona families get back on their feet by providing housing, food, childcare and more. You can donate using the link below. We appreciate your support!

http://donate.billhighway.com/DVAwareness

Tim Tebow Teased. Team Triumphs Tremendously

Idk sports things but lately the name Tebow has been inescapable in popular media.

Gregg Doyel says “Go ahead, make fun of Tebow’s corny enthusiasm” cuz it works.

The Broncos won seven of the next eight. And they won those games in startling fashion, the defense holding opposing offenses in check, keeping games close enough for Tebow to pull them out in the fourth quarter. That happens once or twice, it can be written off in the locker room as a fluke. When it happens damn near every week?

People believe.

They believe in Tebow in Denver, believe in a way that wasn’t supposed to happen. His intangibles, the enthusiasm and charisma that made him so successful at Florida, weren’t supposed to matter in a league where money talks and rah-rah stuff walks. But it matters in Denver. For how long, nobody knows. Maybe this is a once-in-a-lifetime season, the Broncos swept up in the emotion of so many unlikely comebacks. Maybe the cold cynicism of professional football returns next season.

Maybe not.

Tebow isn’t going to change. Hours before Sunday’s game, with temperatures in the upper 20s, he was on the field, playing catch with members of the country band Rascal Flatts. The only teammates out so early were the kicker and punter, and everyone else was wearing hooded jackets over their uniforms. Tebow was in a tank top. It was silly but sincere, just like the way Tebow refers to his sport in shorthand. “Playing ball,” he calls his million-dollar job.

Tebow’s enthusiasm for football is childlike, and his teammates have bought into it.

“Tim has a presence about him that I’ve never been around before,” cornerback Andre’ Goodman said earlier this season. “I’ve played with some Hall of Fame players before that weren’t close to the aura that this guy has.”

This wasn’t supposed to happen, but it did. It’s happening still. The Broncos play the corporate New England Patriots on Saturday, and they can’t win that game. But then, they weren’t supposed to beat Pittsburgh. Even playing at home, against a depleted Steelers team whose quarterback was limping on a sprained ankle, the Broncos were nearly 10-point underdogs. How did they pull off the upset? There are football reasons, I’m sure. Break down the tape. See for yourself.

Japanese Girls win some kind of thing or something

since when are girls allowed to play sports? and in JAPAN? wtf is happening to this world? i havent actually seen any of this sporting event or whatever it was. i just read about it on the internetz cuz the twitterfacebook people were all blee bloo blah about some kind of sporting japanese girl slapfight or something (??). watevs yo.

I feel like this is appropriate for the occasion:

yeay?

Venus almost shows Uranus

The seven-time Grand Slam champion wowed the crowd at Roland Garros on Sunday by wearing a lacy, black dress with bright red trim on her bodice during her first-round match against Patty Schnyder. The black overlay material made the dress appear as if it was see through, even though it was not.

Despite looking more like she was auditioning for a spot at a 19th century cabaret than playing in the year’s second Grand Slam event, Venus won with ease, 6-3, 6-3. She wore a similar can-can style outfit earlier this year in Miami.

That’s just the background necessary for me to post this screenshot, which I find funny for multiple reasons. The picture, ya, okay – the fact that its in the AP chosen role for Yahoo news – and the fact that one of my open tabs is Belieber.com (Justin Bieber fanpage)…

It’s not her bare ass though, as this pic shows:

Nobel & Limbaugh vs Obama & McNabb

If its wondered aloud that the Nobel committee gave the Peace Prize to Obama because they were excited and hopeful at the US electing a black president, how is that racist? right/wrong/whatever. you discuss it, but RACIST? how? — oh. its not? then how is Limbaugh’s 2003 comment that McNabb got praised “because the media wanted a black quarterback to do well” racist?

Exactly. dumbasses. It doesn’t make any sense. It’s cool to hate on talk show hosts you don’t like all you want, it’s NOT cool to go attacking their attempt to own a small piece of a sports team and it’s not even acceptable to go smearing the hell out of someone as a “racist” over things they never said or inserting racism into statements that had, have and COULD have no racist motive.

Last Monday on The O’Reilly Factor, Detroit Free-Press columnist Drew Sharp argued that the NFL has a right to turn down a “a very polarizing, controversial figure whose occupational practice is largely predicated on making people feel comfortable with their own biases and prejudices.”

After Sharp refers to “racially tinged sound bites” that O’Reilly and his crack research team could not uncover, O’Reilly plays the comment Rush made on ESPN in 2003 regarding Donovan McNabb, then asks if it should disqualify Limbaugh from owning an NFL team. “What it does qualify him for is being a race baiter,” Sharp responds. “I do believe he throws in sound bites… strictly for effect.”

Later in the week it was revealed that those first quotes attributed to Limbaugh were made up.

Today on Reliable Sources, a CNN show I podcast, they discussed Limbaughs attempt at the RAMS: