Author: Richard

This Exists: Rush Limbaugh now selling bottled tea

I… don’t know how I should feel about this. My gut reaction is to deride this some how but.. other than finding it too expensive ($2 a bottle), it looks fine for what it is. Political personality seeks to cash in on current political movement he agrees with by selling product tie-in. Sounds legit. it’s just… so… dude… Tea party Tea? Rush Limbaugh Tea?… ug….

My next reaction is guilt that I was predisposed to hate on this seemingly legit product rollout. In fact, I’m such a jerk that after being unable to find any holes in this on my own, I actually went searching for criticism of this new venture to spark alive whatever part of my brain was failing on this. So far I’ve only found similar “wow…this is silly” surprise commentary and over-the-top cynicism that rests entirely on the old Marxist meme of everything that earns a profit by definition cheats the consumer and/or anything right wing is nothing but wicked corporate greed. Yawn…

The conservative movement is primarily a means by which the wealth of rabid right-wingers is redistributed to celebrities. Sometimes the money comes from billionaires, who know exactly what they’re buying when they fund advocacy groups and think tanks, but the whole scheme is basically powered by regular right-wing folks who are kept riled up and angry enough to keep sending checks to frauds and buying books full of alarming lies.

Limbaugh is donating a percentage of the profits to a military charity, but isn’t misleading with his sales pitch. If you watch the video of his announcement on the show, he has no shame about this being a for-profit venture which just happens to have a charity component as opposed to the other way around. Bill O’Reilly, on the other hand makes no money on his endless streams of merch, donating 100% of the profits to charity.

So as long as the buyer isn’t being duped and as long as the product is of average (or better, one hopes) quality, then there’s really nothing wrong with this and haters have no valid argument against it beyond “this is silly”, which it totally is, but whatever. You’re gonna tell me Lady Gaga merch isn’t silly?

Selling overpriced versions of every-day products with celebrity branding is a fine American tradition that serves both the enthusiast/fanatic consumer and the economy. It is the business model behind every single celebrity perfume (Michael Jordan, Kim Kardashian, 50 cent, Britney Spears, Ashton Kutcher, Jessica Simpson, Tiger Woods – just to name a few). Stores can’t keep Justin Bieber nail polish on the shelves (I know. I’ve checked), and that is pretty much the epitome of the “what product does our fan base use that we can sell them by putting this name on?” marketing strategy.

Limbaugh plays this with a straight face, lacking any ironic or self deprecating tells that he realizes this is silly, leading me to believe he doesn’t, which is partly what makes me confused on how I should be feeling about this.

In contrast, Bill O’Reilly has admitted that he finds almost all of his Factor Gear products to be utterly ridiculous and often laughs when giving his sales pitches of them. That’s the way to do it… be self aware, be shameless about pushing it, and donate the proceeds to charity. It’s one of the reasons I own a “The Rain Stops Here” O’Reilly Factor umbrella (among other fine items. not kidding).

Limbaugh is doing parts of that here, so whatever. I approve. I won’t be buying any, but I approve.

Hefner was engaged to an Evil Succubus

It’s a surprise to no one that this 25-year-old model and aspiring singer had ulterior motives in marrying an 85-year-old millionaire, but the extent of the coldness goes ways beyond the old “i only want you cuz you’re rich and you only want me cuz i’m hot” tradition and crosses into territory that reads like an infomercial with an evil bitch for sale:

Not only did she call off the engagement the same day she released the first single off her debut album, and the same day she had a video posted and features on Funny or Die – but she was also cheating on Hugh with Dr. Phils son. Awesome. BUT WAIT – THERE’S MORE…. she was also shopping an interview to take place after she carried out her original break-up plan, which was to leave Hef literally at the alter, in dress and all, while cameras filmed the real-life staged drama.

Crystal Harris secretly planned to ditch the Playboy mogul at the altar in return for a $500,000 media deal, Page Six has learned. Harris was shopping for a big-bucks deal to tell all after she ditched hapless Hef in front of 300 guests at their wedding at the Playboy Mansion on Saturday, to be filmed for a Lifetime TV special.
A source told us, “Crystal wanted to ditch Hef at the altar. Her plan was to walk up the aisle and say she couldn’t go through with it. The wedding was to be filmed for a reality special, and her refusal to marry him would be a sensation.

Wow. Good thing she reconsidered, right? Good thing this heinous harpie had a Grinch moment at the last minute and realized what a horrible thing she was about to do and called off the sham wedding, right? Nah…

She was looking for a tie-in deal of around $500,000 for the exclusive ‘I ditched Hef at the altar’ interview. While there was interest, Crystal didn’t get an offer anywhere near half a million.”

So the only reason she didn’t walk down the aisle in a televised wedding just to tell everyone “jk. lol” was because she didn’t get enough money to do so… Without the cash, she was left with actually marrying the man or calling the whole thing off and picked the only logical choice. Jeeeezus…


Crystal shows off her engagement ring that Hef gave her on Dec. 24, 2010.

At least Playboy is getting publicity out of all this, as “Mrs Crystal Hefner” was set to be on the cover of the next issue, and…well, still is. Unfortunately for Playboy, monthly magazines get printed way in advance of their publication date. So Crystal is on the cover of the July issue as Mrs. Crystal Hefner.

Hugh Hefner tweeted this revision: “Recent events call for a special sticker on the July cover. Look for it on newsstands.” Playboy subscribers, however, won’t see a sticker on their copies since they have already been mailed out.

These are horrible actions regardless of the bubble-gum popcorn funky groovy goodtime context of celebrity gossip and nudie magazine publisher romance. I’m inclined to assess the situation in that Hefner was legit looking to wife this girl and she legit was looking to screw-over and embarrass him for money but even if this was all a publicity stunt on both sides, there is a clear villain that outta be labeled as such.

With Hooker betrayals and Howard heckler: Weiner Resigns

Liberal Superhero Anthony Weiner has announced he is resigning from congress because of the whole “it’s been revealed that he sends dick pics to girls he’s not married to on twitter and facebook” thing, giving a speech that sounded a lot more like a campaign speech than a resignation speech.

Weiner was a left wing rockstar in Congress, my own favorite congressman and would have almost certainly been elected mayor of New York in 2 years if this mess hadn’t been revealed and he went with his plans to run in that election (for which he had already raised $4.5 million in donations)

The speech was interrupted by a heckler that was allegedly a Howard Stern plant. This summary of how it went down is a good micro-transcript of it all:

Weiner kicks off resignation statement w/nostalgia, family reminiscences. He is you.

“I am here today to Resign.” -Anthony Weiner

”Yeah! Goodbye pervert!” -Heckler

“He is not with us” -Heckler

“Are you more than 7 inches?”-Heckler

This is after more nude photos were released as a domino effect of betrayal by the hookers Weiner talked to, releasing his private Facebook conversations where he, for example, talked about banging that chick in Nevada from behind so they could both watch the Daily Show and photo’s he sent to various ladies of him nude or partially nude, Myspace style, from places that included (facepalm), the congressional gym…

While I initially supported Weiner, as many did, when he was claiming it was a hack and then still even when he said it was a prank and then still again when he said he couldn’t be for sure that the picture wasn’t of him – I had to abandone ship once he switched tactic from “you guys are silly. this isn’t a big deal. lets move on” to a creepy level of dishonesty and passionate denial. The fact that he also hasn’t registered his car got me annoyed since financial hypocrisy, while less attention getting than alleged sexual hypocrisy, is a lot more meaningful. Dude, don’t be a vocal advocate for bigger government and higher taxes while cheating the government out of taxes yourself. Much like fellow “raise taxes for everyone but me” Democrat Charlie Rangel however, no one really seems to care about this point – especially when there are dick pictures to discuss.

The weirdest hooker-domino in this series has been porn “actress” Ginger Lee who did the old Gloria Alred Press Conference thing when throwing Weiner under the bus. On the surface it looks like he coached her on how to lie to the press to cover up for him – which is true and happened – however, she also asked for help lying so… wtf. In one email to Weiner, sent on Jan. she says “Just tell me what to do or say, this stuff is so far out of my league I can’t even pretend to know what to do” and Weiner responded, “I want you to make decisions that help you be healthy and sane. We need to be zen about this.”

Weirder still is that in her press conference she stressed that she avoided dirty talk with Weiner, as if she has a reputation of sexual purity she has to protect. Idk what that’s about, but whatever. Hopefully this goes mostly-away now that he’s resigning and he can hurry up and start working on his comeback. This is the right thing for him to do.

UPDATE: Allahpundit said it better than I on the weirdness of a pornstar stressing to make clear that she didn’t talk dirty to a guy on twitter:

I’m confounded by her claim that she didn’t reciprocate any of Weiner’s sexual overtures in their chats. She has no reputation to protect so there’s no obvious reason for her to lie, but she’s also been known to say — publicly — “I want to have sexual relations with Anthony Weiner” and “He can get buck wild anytime I’m around.” He finally noticed her and sent her an e-mail, which escalated into sexual come-ons, and her response was to … try to steer the conversation back around to the debt ceiling or something? Everyconversation? Huh. Behold the world’s most cerebral, politically focused former porn star.

Alan Colmes was unhappy about the resignation and I think this is a good clip despite the uploader inappropriately calling it a “meltdown” (slight passion in ones delivery is not a meltdown, guys).

Liveblogging the CNN Republican Primary Debate

Each new line is a new thought… Play the drinking game if you’re watching live too.



this tweet is obviously a joke, but it makes great sense. Government jobs should be like jury duty: everyone contributes but no one should want to. I like the thought of candidates saying “elect me and I will give myself less power than the current guy is giving himself”.

Bachman looks great (she doesn’t always). Gingrich looks creepy (he does always).

Bachmann answered a question about how she would repeal Obamacare with a 1 minute response saying Obamacare is bad. Romney is answering the question by answering the question (he will repeal Obamacare and replace it with a better program in addition to issuing a waver to all 50 states

Pawlenty is asked about a criticism he made of Romney just yesterday. Doesn’t answer.

Romney’s gotta lose the smirk. I remember it from 2008. When an opponent is making a scurrilous attack, dont smile at it unless it’s funny.


Santorum gets a bad rap, mostly cuz of the “he hatez teh gahys” smear, so I wanna defend him. but… c’mon dude. why are you up there? Couldn’t be president if he was still a senator. REALLY can’t be president when he lost his last re-election for senate by 18 points (in 06).

I’ve said it before but i’ll say it again: why wasn’t it McCain/Bachmann in 08? She’s answering mostly in soundbytes and is weak on substance so far but still comes off a lot better than Palin. I think it’s more than just the [lack of] accent.

Lol. Hermain Cain. You go, brother. oh, shit. that’s racist. cuz he’s black. I can’t explain why calling a black guy “brother” is racist, but I think the rule is “anything you say in regards to a person of color is or can be racist”. Oh well. I like hearing him add his spice into this. He has no chance of winning.

I got super bored with this and Facebooked for awhile. Pawlenty is talking now. Just said his family listens to Rush Limbaugh, which I think was an intentional name drop so Rush would play the clip on his radio show tomorrow. Smart move from a candidate who needs the publicity.


[COMMERCIAL BREAK]

Lol. Hermain Cain. He says “I studied” as “Ah Studded”.

Enouughhhhh with the “ah..al..alr…alri…alrigh…alright…” interruptions by John King 5 seconds into every single answer. Jesus. I get that there are time limits, even though there shouldn’t be. Lincoln and whoevertheotherguywas famously debated for hours and there was only 2 of them. I get that cable news isn’t about news so much as it’s a profitcenter for advertising dollars paying for news based entertainment, but come ON… give everyone an extra minute to give their shitty blowhard answers.

“Mr Speaker: Dancing with the Stars? or American Idol?”. Wtf CNN? this is pathetic. The last question before the break was to Santorum, asking “Conan or Leno”. He said “Probably Leno” but then botched the answer by throwing both under the bus saying that he doesn’t watch either. This is all a gimmick over what a news headline it was when Bill Clinton was asked at an MTV sponsored debate in the 90s “Boxers or Briefs?”. We get it. silly question to a person of power. teehee. 20 years later? These are stupid. CNN: the MTV of cable news except not as popular.


[COMMERCIAL BREAK]

Lots of boring stuff. I took a break again until — HAHA, oh wow. Ron Paul just said the First Amendment is the right for anyone to practice their “Christian” faith. oh geez…

This before-break “this or that” question is to Mr Cain: Deep Dish or Thin Crust? oh giggle giggle snicker teehee. Cain said in a deep authoritative voice “Deep. Dish”. eha..ehaaa……


[COMMERCIAL BREAK]

Romney says spicy wings are better than mild. This is a real question and answer in a real presidential debate…

Is Bachmann still in this debate?

Oh, next question to Bach. about New Hampshires same sex marriage law. she says it’s not the Presidents role to mess with state laws like that. right answer. good for her.

“Are you a George Bush republican, meaning a constitutional amendment to define marriage as between a man and woman or a Dick Cheney republican, meaning leave it to the states” – um…George Bush never instituted a constitutional amendment to define marriage. He mildly supported a theoretical amendment, what? once? in response to a question about it? lame misleading question.

Ron Paul touts the old “get the government out of marriage” line. dislike. government is in maraige for the kids.

Moderator from the audience asks Santorum if Romney is a big fake phony over switching from being Pro-choice to Pro-life 6 years ago. Romney fixes the smirk issue and has appropriate body posture. Santorum answers the question with class, talking about his own opinion on life instead of attacking Mitt.

Mitt says he’s firmly pro-life and will appoint Justices that will follow the constitution.

Bachmann: “I am 100% pro-life, I’ve given birth to 5 babies…” lol.

Romney says troops need to come back from Afghanistan ASAP and hand leadership over to “the Taliban military” as CNN cuts to a General in the audience giving the same “da Fukkk?” response everyone who heard it at home did until Romney quickly corrected, saying “excuse me – the Afghan government, to DEFEND from the Taliban”.

Ron Paul says he wouldn’t listen to the Generals on the ground in Afghanistan if he was president and would pull out no matter what.

-DEBATE ENDS-

An Obama supporter analyst after the debate keeps saying that Tim Pawlenty needed to “cut” him and “make him bleed”. “You need to cut them and make them bleed”. said it 3 times. geez. The dude is black. I wonder if a white guy who said that about Obama would be called racist…. hmmm

UPDATE: Conan recaps:

The Book of Mormon

Trey Parker and Matt Stone’s first Broadway show ‘The Book Of Mormon’ won nine Tony Awards Sunday night, including Best Musical. Watching the video below of the song I Believe with Andrew Rannells reminded me of days in Drama class where I’d make the same commentary on a Mormon classmate. I never sang them this well though:

Conservative Brent Bozell calls it a Atheist Mormon trashing musical, but, without having seen it, I’m willing to venture a guess that it is not that, but rather is a Musical made by Atheists that does some Mormon trashing.

If you saw the Mormon episode of Southpark, it is not hateful. i do not believe this musical will be “mormon trashing”. I believe it will be an extension of what the Southpark creators think about the religion (which i 100% agree with): that its theology is weird, its youth in history makes it even harder to believe than other religions, and that it advocates the best religion has to offer while producing some of the nicest most productive, happy and cheerful members of any religion on the planet and should get credit for that. i want to see it too. might fly out and do so. will see if im wrong.

I have no reason to believe it will be a smear job that furthers myths. I think it will be a good natured satire dont with friendly pokes based on experience with members of the religion, not myths and smears on it.

Synopsis:

The parody musical follows two young Mormon missionaries sent to Uganda to spread God’s word, only to find themselves in the most hellish situations imaginable. In the scene below, Elder Price (Andrew Rannells) has lost his faith and attempts to regain the courage to fight an evil warlord aiming to control the Ugandan people.

A song from the Southpark episode that was the precursor to the play:

Black Democrats and Obama

Will the black community support Barack Obama no matter what? History says “Duh”. Even though the hits to the economy under Obama’s policies are hitting black communities disproportionally worse – the biggest possible defection from Obama’s 96% he got of black votes in 2008 is likely to be, as the video says “Goodbye 96%, hello 94”.

I’ve heard several black friends in different areas of the country since 2004 talk about the peer pressure of voting “the right way”. It’s unfortunate that people have bought into this, not because they should all be voting Republican, but because voting in a lock step like that hurts you by making you not matter. Black liberals shouldn’t be voting against their views just to shake things up obviously, but most blacks arent liberals. Most blacks have conservative positions on social issues and are a mixed bag on taxes, immigration and foreign policy – yet they do not vote that way. They vote one way only, every time.

Those are the people who’s ideology makes them a swing voter but since they do not ever swing their vote, it has no bargaining value. Just like if Libertarians never vote Republican, then their votes are already discounted and their ideology not argued by Republicans seeking their vote because they know they can’t get it. If a Libertarian alternates between sitting out/voting 3rd party and voting for the candidate closest to their ideology in the 2 major parties then they have some bargaining power because it shows in the election results.

Black Democrats arent open to this because of the old “Danger on the Right” meme that doesn’t even allow a voter to consider the ideas of the right-of-center side because it is immediately demonized as racist, sexist, bigoted, homophobic, islamophobic, xenophobic and in service to corporate greedheads.

Jon Stewart and his “Senior black correspondant” took a look at the economy, its effect on the black community and said voters likely reaction to it.

PS: Even though I have never heard of Godfathers Pizza chai, pizza is pizza and I too will vote for Hermain Cain if he hooks me up with free pizzas

Apple Mothership Proposal

Steve Jobs is going to bulldoze a giant lot in Cupertino with ugly buildings and make it his new donut spaceship Headquarters with 80% landscape, including apricot orchards (i guess growing apples would have been too obvious/cliche?) and underground parking. Check it out.


I like that Apple is often called a cult and now they are building their new HQ to look like a Mothership that landed in the forest.

Weiner’s Worst Crime is lying to his friends

The latest poll from his district has 56 percent of his constituents saying he shouldn’t resign.

Democratic analyst at Fox News Kirsten Powers was lied to by her ex-boyfriend, Anthony Weiner, about being hacked and defended him publicly on Fox and in text with that false info.

Full disclosure: I briefly dated Anthony almost a decade ago after meeting him at a postcampaign party for the 2002 New York gubernatorial race, during which I had worked as Andrew Cuomo’s press secretary. The relationship didn’t last, but we stayed friends. While we were dating, he traveled with my family to Costa Rica for Christmas, and years later I spent Thanksgiving with his when I was stranded in New York City because of work. He was a strong support when my father died suddenly from a heart attack seven years ago. When a relationship I had been hopeful about ended in 2006, he cleared his calendar to spend a Saturday with me and reassure me about my decision. We only dated for three months, and he was for the most part a doting boyfriend and my family was very fond of him.

In the past few years, we didn’t see each other or communicate much, though when my husband’s parents were recently trapped in Egypt during the revolution, he helped to connect me to his wife, Huma, an aide to Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, to facilitate their getting out.

That’s the nice part. The rest of the column is devastating…

Citizens are arrested and prosecuted when they lie to the government, even if it was over something personal. Why is there no penalty for when the government lies to the citizens? no matter what he reason.

It’s his ticket to prestige and women, after all; it’s his conduit to the media, for whom he loves serving up soundbites; and realistically, it’s his only route to becoming mayor. They’ll have to drag him from the House chamber kicking and screaming. Watch what she says too about what distinguishes Weiner’s scandal from other sex scandals. It’s not that he lied about it to try to cover it up. It’s that he lied to everyone, from his wife to his friends to his aides to his colleagues to his donors to the president. And of course, to himself: If this guy seriously thought he could run New York City while texting photos of his schwanz to random female acquaintances online without anyone finding out, his egomania and self-delusion are so severe as to require medical attention. It’s seriously crazy. And not only did he lie, he did it in one of the cheapest, most demagogic ways possible by trying to pawn the whole thing off on the “vast right-wing conspiracy.” As sleazy as Clinton’s, Vitter’s, and Spitzer’s scandals each were, I never thought it defined each man’s entire character; with Weiner, I do. I think KP agrees, which is why she seems so palpably distressed when talking and writing about this.