Author: Richard

Whatever Happened to the Hole in the Ozone Layer?

As Lewis Black says: “We’ve got men, we’ve got rockets, we’ve got Saran Wrap… FIX IT”.

All I heard about via the environment in the 90s was “the hole in the ozone layer”, the hole, the HOLE! Well, its not actually a hole, its an area that is thinner than the rest, and its not actually a big deal apparently since no one says a damn word about it anymore. LiveScience says the size of the hole has stabilized.

Yes, the ozone has thinned over the North Pole and is expected to keep doing so for 15 years due to “due to weather-related phenomena that scientists still cannot fully explain” (thats helpful). But theres good news:

Since the 1989 Montreal Protocol banned the use of ozone-depleting chemicals worldwide, the ozone hole has stopped growing. Additionally, the ozone layer is blocking more cancer-causing radiation than any time in a decade because its average thickness has increased, according to a 2006 United Nations report. Atmospheric levels of ozone-depleting chemicals have reached their lowest levels since peaking in the 1990s, and the hole has begun to shrink.

The most hilarious part for the hippies freaking out over Global Warming is that the article says recent studies show that the size of the ozone hole affects the global temperature…but not in the way you probably think…

“Closing the ozone hole actually speeds up the melting of the polar ice caps, according to a 2009 study from Scientific Committee on Antarctic Research”.

bahaha. awesome.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ytCEuuW2_A

Why exactly is too much salt bad for you?

I put salt on everything. Even things im not going to eat. even things that arent edible. I’ll salt my remote control sometimes just out of habit. Literally every food item either needs or will benefit from the addition of salt except beverages. I’m always told how bad salt is for you, though its never explained exactly why. Today a Facebook friend came to the rescue with this status update explaining what too much salt does to you and why its not good in a short and easy to understand way:

But what happens when you eat more salt than your body needs? Your body retains fluid simply to dilute the extra sodium in your bloodstream. This raises blood volume, forcing your heart to work harder; at the same time, it makes veins and arteries constrict. The combination raises blood pressure.

A commenter added:

Sodium Chloride and (grey) Celtic Sea Salt act totally different in the body, The Sea Salt has 80 total minerals, all vital to human cellular function..

and now we all know. and of course the government is going to fix it for us.

if you’ll excuse me, i have to go refill the salt shaker i keep in my room.

In the video: Robin Miller, Food Network host, tells Headline Health (a FoxNews.com internet show) her No. 1 goal when cooking with spices: its all about the flavor. doesn’t matter how good something is for you if you’re not going to eat it, she astutely observes. salt is the new buzz word on whats bad but its real easy to replace evidently.

“Salt eaters live longer” is something i’d like explored more… for kids too:

Justin Bieber in Teen Vogue

This might be in the running for best photoshoot ever… can you even imagine it being described? “We’re gonna take you down to Venice beach.. with your skateboard.. aaand… a powder blue tuxedo shirt and white bow tie with plaid pants and a yellow fedora………. and by God… it’ll be magnificent”.

How this little twerp gets away with these random acts of awesome and maintains an air of cool – when i would be drafted as mayor of Fag City if I even described this as a joke – let alone did it for real – makes the Biebs my passionately hated idol…

god….

this photo is everything i wish i ever was.. and more

there are just no words…

in my dreams, he’s throwing it to me. and when i reach inside.. its his heart.. not a metaphor or a cartoon heart or anything.. but a bloody, still pumping organ.. and then i eat it. and cry. and sit back and digest.. digest Justin Biebers freshly cut heart…
hats off to you Biebs… always.
<3 oneLuv

Conan finally talks, but doesn’t say much

How Leno got screwed: he got booted from his show when he was at the top in the ratings and moved to a loser time slot with a loser show. How is that not getting screwed? because he was moved back to 11:30? then Conan didnt get screwed either since he too was moved back to 11:30 on another network. Clearly they both got screwed. I dont know what the deal is with this meme that Leno was the bad guy who got a smooth sail while Conan was the only victim.

Local Fox News: lets call soy milk jizum

Thursday morning on Fox 5’s “Good Day New York” program, the anchors were having a debate about alternative names you could call soy ‘milk,’ since as the Daily Caller puts it: “it is, as we all know from unpleasant experience, technically not milk”. Anchorwoman Rosanna Scotto blurted out “soy jizum” as a possible name for the white liquid, which is funny and not the most appropriate imagery for morning news, but DUDE – watch how her co-anchor just lets her hang there in silence and awkwardness. No bueno, brohiem.

A debate about what to call soy milk on “Good Day New York” this morning took an odd turn when veteran Fox 5 anchorwoman Rosanna Scotto pulled a Sue Simmons on live TV.

Scotto and her fellow anchors were debating the National Milk Producers Federation’s argument that products should only be called milk when it comes from an animal, not soy or rice.

When the topic of what to call soy milk came up, Scotto blurted out, Soy ji—um!”

Scotto’s confused co-anchor, Greg Kelly, looked on in disbelief as the banter continued during the live show.

“Rosanna!” Kelly said in a reprimanding tone.

This is not the first time a TV anchor has gotten into hot water for their salty comments.

WNYW/Channel 5 brass apologized last year after Ernie Anastos’ chicken-flavored cussing during the 10 o’clock news. The popular anchorman, a colleague of Scotto’s, blurted out, “Keep f- – -ing that chicken” to the shock of viewers last September.

The f-bomb mortified even his co-anchor during the Wednesday-night broadcast.

In 2008, salty-tongued Sue Simmons shouted, “What the f- – – are you doing?” during a live promo for her WNBC/Channel 4 show.

That instance was actually much weirder…

Stewart calls Apple “Appholes” over lost iPhone response

An Apple employee lost a prototype for the new iPhone, which is kind of a big deal to them and soon after came the headline/news: Per Apple Request, Police Questioning Gizmodo’s iPhone Scoop. RespondingiIn a segment titled “Appholes”, John Stewart went off (though gently) on Apple for handling the Gizmodo iPhone leak poorly, most notably observing that Microsoft was supposed to be the evil one, but now Apple is busting down doors in Palo Alto while Bill Gates rids the world of mosquitoes. Everything is upside down!

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart Mon – Thurs 11p / 10c
Appholes
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Tea Party

Commenter Durox on the Daily Show website rebuts:

1. the guy has a case# from the Apple’s support team, he contacted them but they had no idea that a ‘secret iPhone’ was lost, so they decided it was a joke (Apple also said in the begining that it’s not a prototype …) 2. the blogger paid for an iPhone; he took a chance; it might have been a joke, a replica, etc, but he considered the risks and got it. when asked to return it, he sent it back to Apple. the whole thing took days to develop, and that seems to me like a publicity stunt… Jobs’ own secrecy regarding the product, turns out to be the cause why they didn’t get the iPhone back before it made it on the news. if the support team were updated, if Jobs would not have been so paranoid, the phone would have been returned to Apple. IMO it’s like this: you buy a used bike on a garage sale. the guy says he found it on the side of the road.. you give him the money, and take the bike to a ride. someone stops you and demands that he left the bike on the street, and he wants it back. you give it back.. now, what’s going on w/ your money, what’s going on when the police arrives? ;] ps Apple has the argument that the new iPhone is top secret and the competitors might steal its ‘secrets’! come on Jobs, we are in 2010 and the iPhone still doesn’t multitask. it took several upgrades to film, and other expensive jokes like these ;]. don’t give us this BS, with the secrect technology, iPhone’s only thing is its applications. w/o them it simply blows!

and commenter Go Zi An created some buzz on the videos comments with a few along these lines:

But John Gruber actually has a fair and balanced take on this issue, unlike Jon Stewart. Steward [sic] is misrepresenting facts, leaving out important details like the prototype was stolen, and whoever found it never informed anyone at all for 3 weeks, despite knowing the identity of the Apple engineer since he could access his Facebook app on the iPhone prototype. And Gizmodo paid for the prototype, is that even ethical journalism (something Stewart himself always raves about?) Jon Stewart it’s time you actually went to journalism school to learn the basics on reporting facts.

Hitler reaction parodys being pulled from Youtube

The Hitler-reacts-to-bad-news parodies that replace the English subtitles from a scene in the film Downfall are being mass yanked from Youtube. but why? Constantin films, owners of the rights to the film “Der Untergang” (“Downfall”), upon which the parody videos are based, filed the copyright claim.

Of course, the real question is: why? Why has Constantin Films chosen to suddenly claim copyright on these clips after six years — especially when the clips generate interest from parties who are otherwise unlikely to even look at the film (the film, which was nominated for the Academy Award for Best Foreign Language Film, was independently produced and is entirely in German). Certainly plenty of wayward YouTubers and Internet-goers have been driven to discover the source of the clips that provide them with so much entertainment. So, yes, you wonder why Constantin Films is suddenly putting the kibosh on this obvious stream of free publicity.

“Even the director of ‘Downfall,’ Oliver Hirschbiegel, thinks the parodies are funny. He told New York Magazine in January 2010: ‘Someone sends me the links every time there’s a new one. I think I’ve seen about 145 of them! Of course, I have to put the sound down when I watch. Many times the lines are so funny, I laugh out loud, and I’m laughing about the scene that I staged myself! You couldn’t get a better compliment as a director.’

So dude… wtf? Furthermore: the clips on youtube are not copyright violators…

The legal merits of Constantin’s argument are clear: They do not exist. Downfall parodies take less than four minutes of a 156-minute film, and use them in a way that is unquestionably transformative. Maybe Moturk49 was somehow making a ton of money from his or her Xbox-related parody, but it seems unlikely. In any event, the Supreme Court’s 1994 decision in the “Hairy Woman” lawsuit established that the commercial nature of a parody does not render it presumptively unfair, and that a sufficient parodic purpose offers protection against the charge of copying.

“Not that that will matter. The issue is YouTube’s kneejerk takedowns. The site is free to do what it likes; nobody will bother going to court over something so ephemeral as a Hitler joke; and though YouTube is obviously the best and most popular forum for any video, it’s not like there’s some inalienable right to run your content there. Still, the use of immediate takedowns is a blunt instrument that YouTube and its owner Google will, I hope, learn to refine in the future.”

As you may have guessed, when Hitler heard the news about all this… he was not pleased…

UPDATE: ReastonTV has more:

1. It’s fair use! The parodies, which transform a few minutes of a three-hour movie, are clearly legit under existing copyright laws. Because they clearly transform the original and have no possibility of confusing viewers, the parodies are clearly protected speech.

2. This is free promotion! As George Lucas could tell the filmmakers, fan-generated videos help keep the original source material vital and relevant. Lucas used to try to police all Star Wars knock-offs, until he realized that his audience was promoting his films more effectively than he ever could. More people have surely seen Downfall due to the popularity of the parodies.

3. Let’s keep the Internet creative! The greatest cultural development over the past 20 or so years has been technologies that allow producers and consumers to create and enjoy an ever-increasing array of creative expression in an ever-increasing array of circumstances. This development is nowhere more powerful than on the Internet, which has unleashed a whole new universe of writing, music, video, and more. Indeed, YouTube is itself one of the great conduits of cyberspace. Pulling down the Downfall parodies may be within YouTube’s rights, but it nonetheless strikes a blow to the heart of what is totally awesome about the Internet.

Pregnant Teenagers

16 and Pregnant on MTV remains awesomely hilarious, but I’m not cold to the tragic aspects of teen pregnancy. People say it’s not like they were TRYING to get pregnant but really they’re all “trying” through carelessness. several times i have used an actual hammer to beat out sore back muscles, hit too hard and bruised myself. do i deserve sympathy because i wasnt TRYING to get hurt? all i wanted was to feel good. what, is there another, safer way to do it or something?

I dont know why sex is so poorly taught to young people. teens will always err on the side of danger if it most benefits them and we know this. thats why they bring in mangled cars and pictures of splattered brains caused by drunk drivers into high schools – to illustrate the whole “hey, i know you were told not to do this, but.. now im gonna make it real since youre young/stupid and punchdrunk with chemical changes”. why do we go through such lengths to get teens to not drink and do drugs but the approach on sex is “hey now, its not good y’knowz. but if you’re gonna do it, here’s how i can make it really easy for you”? a good “this is what happens and this is what life is like” edu-talk in every school would do wonders and isnt even controversial. wtf america.

the end result of “if theyre gonna do it, we want them to do it safely” is best approached by not phrasing it that way. we dont talk like that with any other behavior we want to detour outside of drugs[/alch] & sex. we dont say “dont cut your arms when you fight with your parents, BUT IF YOU DO… slice horizontal, not vertical”. teens arent ignorant about how sex works. aside from the health and biology aspects, they all know what goes where just like they understand that cars go fast when you press on the gas and people who are drunk have impaired reaction skills. instead of trying to teach young adults out of bad decisions by oddly and falsely assuming that the more they know about the mechanics of the “car” (in this case, their body) the less likely they’ll do things they’re told not to, we should be teaching them into the reality of those decisions, like the likelihood and the actual details of the risk if you lose the gamble, since ignorance on THOSE – not ovulation and seaman production – are the real problem.

I wish my girlfriend could comment on this but she’s grounded from the internet for another week. ill ask her later though when i pick her up from cheer practice.

Jennifer Love Hewitt talks about the art of Vagazzling

UPDATE: I’m changing this posts title from “Danny Bonaduce finds a way to make a Jennifer Love Hewitt about him” to its current form to reflect the updates below.

Danny Bonaduce is the master at making any topic involve, be about or otherwise reference himself, edging out Sean Hannity by a slim but respectable margin for the title. Last week I heard him interview Jennifer Love Hewitt about her new book where she talks about Love more in the Jennifer Aniston path. and also decorating her vagina with colorful costume jewel studs. Danny turns the focus back on himself at every turn. it’s good times… it gets to be even gooder timezes when they conclude and she’s off the line and they can really talk about vag-decorating unfiltered.



Jennifer has a new book out, The Day I Shot Cupid, which she wrote over four years, all with pen to paper. Just like Danny. Jennifer admits that she’s done some pretty dumb things for love, including writing a guy love letters every day straight for six months only to find out he had a girlfriend. She also held up signs for a guy outside of his apartment. Danny is the king of Bedazzling, and Jennifer is a huge fan of vagazzling, which is putting crystals on lady parts.Danny might pedazzle now. They stay on for about a week. Jennifer is single these days. She doesn’t go out to Hollywood clubs and hot spots.

UPDATE: twas fate that caused me to post this seeing as no later than a few hours after publishing I come across this complete w ith SFW image:

It’s called Vajazzling. Like Bedazzling, you know? That infomercial about putting rhinestones on your clothes? Only this is no denim vest enhanced by a handheld machine that you can get for just $19.95 if you call right now. With vajazzling, you go into a high-end salon, get waxed bare, and are bejewled below the belt.

You know, I’m not sure which surprised me more: That Hewitt did it; that she went on national television and told everyone about it; or that such an activity exists at all. But there she was on The George Lopez Show letting it all hang out. OK — not literally, of course. But she was talking all about it. She was so proud and giggly. She said she did it after a break-up to lift her spirits, and apparently it worked. Hewitt also shared her vajazzling tale on Chelsea Lately, The View and The Joy Behar Show. Girlfriend gets around.

and lo. whats this? Love Hewitt talking about the art form on Lopez Tonight (and click here to watch her on Joy Behar):

Completely Bare in New York City, which claims to have originated the service and the name, offers a variety of designs starting at $115, including the wax. One design, described as “a beautiful padlock on a chain”, costs $750. dayum woman… if yo baby hole aint attractive as it is, you ain gonna change it with shiny goodies around it… but… whatever i guess.