Billy Mays. RIP

No Zorbeez can sponge these tears.
No amount of Mighty Putty will heal my broken heart.
RIP u midnight stallion haired prince of sales, Billy Mays…

the Mays Family and Co-host Anthony Sullivan with Conan

I am pretty close with Billy Mays Jr, by which of course I mean that I follow him on Twitter, and he had the following to say for his late father:

# This feels like one of those times when I would call my dad and say “What should I do?” He’s still answering but now it’s from within.about 1 hour ago from UberTwitter

#wearblue4billy – Wear blue tomorrow in memory of Billy- I didn’t come up with this but it made me smile and my dad would surely be honored.about 4 hours ago from UberTwitter

All your replies and messages are a great comfort to me. Thank you all for the condolences.about 4 hours ago from UberTwitter

I’m thankful I got to talk to my dad last night. I miss him immensely already. But I feel him with me.about 5 hours ago from UberTwitter

With the family. Um… Not quite sure what to say right now. All the support from you guys does help.about 8 hours ago from UberTwitter

On my way to the house. He’s gone. I’m gonna be strong for him. Thank you for all the thoughts and prayers everyone.about 8 hours ago from UberTwitter

it seems to be all too real at this point. Thank you.about 9 hours ago from txt

My dad didn’t wake up this morning.. I’m sure you’ll all hear about it. It hasn’t yet hit me but it’s about to.about 9 hours ago from UberTwitter

Mays was unique in the infomercial world for not being a shameless huckster. None of his endorsed products, that I am aware of, have been shown to be junk that is incapable of performing the tasks claimed on their advertising. In addition to just appearing to be a pretty pleasant and genuine guy, Mays had a sense of realness about him that is lacking in both sales and showbiz, and he was holding a commanding lead in both arenas before his passing.

I would never condone violence against the ShamWow guy Vince, but I do feel us Mays fans are called upon to do SOMETHING to avenge his final wishes via “shamPow”…

I last saw Billy on the Tonight show talking to Conan with his co-host Anthony Sullivan about their new show Pitch Men.

RIP Iran news coverage =(

First Ed McMahon cashed his final check, then God turned the Fawcett off and shortly afterward the same day, Michael Jacksons heart just beat it.

All media is a contest and thus every event has a winner and a loser.

WINNER: Ed McMahon.Ed and Johnny Pictures, Images and Photos
He had the good sense to die when there wasn’t really any important news going on like a revolution in the middle east or whatever, so he soaked up his fair share of the obit spotlight. Where as poor Farrah got totally upstaged by the Jack attack, the lesser culturally significant McMahon received lots of replays of old footage montaged under fond memories.

LOSER: Governor Mark Sanford.

If only he had waited just one day to confess to the world that he wasn’t really hiking on an Appalachian trail, but was really digging an Argentinean hole (by which I mean “), he would have slipped under the radar in the news cycle. In fact, if he had waited that one day, his press conference where he confessed to banging a girl in south america would have literally been cut-off by all the channels covering it live and the reporters there in front of him would have all scrambled away to go cover the more important story of Jacksons passing and just ask the Governor to release a statement to be put on page C9 later on.

WINNER: Farrah Fawcett’s family

They get to mourn in peace.

LOSER: Democracy in Iran


When bloggers die

I just found out that long time blogger Lee, died in his sleep while in China where he has been living for the past year. I started reading Lee’s bold take on the news in 2002 when, in a fresh-after-9/11 world, I was just starting to pay attention to politics. Lee was a conservative, operating Right-Thinking.com but later posted on other sites, including his last, LeeinChina.com which covered his exploits in the far east when he moved for work.

His partner on many projects and co-blogger Jim K, also known as the anti-Michael Moore webmaster featured in Michael Moore’s Sicko posted the sad news on Right-Thinking shortly after it happened back in April. I obviously had not kept up with Right-Thinking and just tonight read the sad news.

I’m posting this not because I think random people care that some random blogger has passed away, but because it’s a reminder that I’m going to die some time, maybe randomly like Lee (details are still unknown, but no word was given that he was ill or injured) and someone will have to post on my websites the news of my expiration for my viewers.

Unlike some bloggers who I’ve heard continueing their craft during cancer or some other terminal disease and losing the battle while still active online, Lee was just an average bloke who didn’t wake up one day.

In May the “worlds oldest blogger” died at 97 and in 2007 the wife of ColdFury blogger was killed in a vehicle accident. It’s weird… I have 10 thousand friends on Myspace and have had 3 die in the past several years. I would just visit their page and see memorial comments and tributes.  It was around then that I discovered MyDeathSpace.com which covered Myspace member obituaries (most are car accidents). It’s all very weird in the web 2.0 stage.

Using war as population control

While getting some fillings done at the dentist, the assistant and he started talking current events. Politics where touched upon, but nothing ideological – just some reporting that they both have been hearing a lot of buyers remorse from people who voted for Obama and are disappointed that his promises about foreign policy, the war on terror and the economy were not fulfilled. The dentist said that the economy is headed down a path that is not likely to be revived soon without a war.

The effect a war can have on an economy is uneven. World War 2 (and not any of FDR’s economic policies) got us out of the depression for instance, but the war on terror helped nudge us in the opposite direction for instance. The reason is because in a situation like World War 2, the government issued mass production of war making devices. This can work as a quick pick-me-up, but unless its followed by a 1950’s era of continued production and growth, then all you’ve done is create a ton of jobs creating a ton of products that you then dumped in the ocean and blew up in the skies. Obama could do that today with any field. He could open a new government wing that will increase paper clip production by a million percent and that would bump the economy by creating jobs, but then slump it when we’re met with no way to profit from the paper clips.

My mouth was propped open with a dental damn over it and mental objects prodding around my Novocaine induced face, so my engagement in the conversation was limited to a Frankentien like eeehhhnnn uuuuhhhnnnn grunt here and there.

Then a 2nd assistant, sitting to chat with the 3 of us but performing no job at the moment chimed in on the heels of the dentists war comment…

“What’s really a shame is that Obama is going back on his promises about the war so now they’re just going to stay there longer and get depressed and killed and have a terrible time when they come home”. I gave the eyebrow signlanguage equivelent to a “wtf” as she continued.

“I think a lot of times they send people off to war just for population control. you know? its not the people making the war who have to go die in it, so I think thats just what they do”.

What in the sh#t? Luckily my mouth was JUST becoming free at that point, so I was able to issue a “no way” response and briefly explain how that theory doesn’t make any frigging sense. I couldn’t go nuclear on her because she clearly was not convinced of the charge herself, nor felt very passionate about it so I gave a reply equal to her initial statement. I’m guessing that she heard the claim made in a convincing way by someone who sounded like they knew what they were talking about, so she brought it up still thinking it was a valid observation.

It’s a frigging retarded observation.

The US population as of 2008 is 304,059,724 (roughly 3 hundred Million).

US casualties in Iraq as of June 2009 have been 4,300 (roughly 4 thousand).

If 4 thousand out of 300 million doesn’t sound like a large percentage, then you probably passed the 2nd grade on your first try. But to really see exactly HOW off base this theory is, you’ve got to calculate what % of our population has been exterminated in this alleged population control.

4,300 is 13 thousandths of 1% of 304,059,724.

In other words: .0000013% of our population has been killed in Iraq.

Does that sound like effective “population control” to you?… If so then you probably voted for Nader.

Did it never occur to these people that perhaps issuing cheap or free birth control, increasing abortion, federally legalizing euthanasia, speeding up wait time for inmates on death row, or restricting health care benefits to the elderly and drug addicted – MIGHT just be more logical, and definitely more effective measures of going about controlling the population? Think those suggestions are just a tad more prudent than risking a political career and reputation to make some shit up about why its a big deal that we have to go fight a war for some reason other than the REAL one which is to get our strongest, hardest willed men and women ages 18-30sent to their deaths, while spending hundreds of billions of dollars in the mean time to train and arm them… just so we can execute them. Really?…

UPDATE: Martin, from a UK e-mail address says:

Take your head out of your ass, its not only americans who die. It’s also not just people in Iraq. There are many other ‘wars’ happening all over the world.

Thanks for that 100% irrelevant notation that changes nothing (he’s just pissed that I used America – the country the person I’m responding to was talking about – as an example because he’s got hater issues).

10 year old girl with cancer too sick to see UP. Pixar flies a DVD to her home. She dies 7 hours later.

“I’m ready (to die), but I’m going to wait for the movie” – 10 year old girl with cancer too sick to see UP. Pixar flies a DVD to her home. She dies 7 hours later.

pixar-up-house-balloons-single1

When Colby Curtin saw the Dream Works 3-D movie “Monsters Vs. Aliens” she was impressed by the previews for “Up.” “It was from then on, she said, ‘I have to see that movie. It is so cool,’” a family friend told the OC Register:

Two days later Colby’s health began to worsen. On June 4 her mother asked a hospice company to bring a wheelchair for Colby so she could visit a theater to see “Up.” However, the weekend went by and the wheelchair was not delivered, Lisa Curtin said.

By June 9, Colby could no longer be transported to a theater and her family feared she would die without having seen the movie.

At that point, Orum, who desperately wanted Colby to get her last wish, began to cold-call Pixar and Disney to see if someone could help.

Pixar has an automated telephone answering system, Orum said, and unless she had a name of a specific person she wanted to speak to, she could not get through. Orum guessed a name and the computer system transferred her to someone who could help, she said.

Pixar officials listened to Colby’s story and agreed to send someone to Colby’s house the next day with a DVD of “Up,” Orum recalled.

She immediately called Lisa Curtin, who told Colby.

“Do you think you can hang on?” Colby’s mother said.

“I’m ready (to die), but I’m going to wait for the movie,” the girl replied.

And she did…

“When I watched it, I had really no idea about the content of the theme of the movie,” said Curtin, 46. “I just know that word ‘Up’ and all of the balloons and I swear to you, for me it meant that (Colby) was going to go up. Up to heaven.”

Pixar officials declined to comment on the story or name the employees involved.

The content and theme of the movie, consequently is about death, loneliness, unfulfilled dreams and drive to complete long time ambition before your life is over.

Brief synopsis of this item in the first few seconds of this clip from the Register:

THE MOVIE

At about 12:30 p.m. the Pixar employee came to the Curtins’ home with the DVD.

He had a bag of stuffed animals of characters in the movie and a movie poster. He shared some quirky background details of the movie and the group settled in to watch Up.

Colby couldn’t see the screen because the pain kept her eyes closed so her mother gave her a play-by-play of the film.

At the end of the film, the mother asked if her daughter enjoyed the movie and Colby nodded yes, Lisa Curtin said.

The employee left after the movie, taking the DVD with him, Lynch said.

“He couldn’t have been nicer,” said Lynch who watched the movie with the family. “His eyes were just welled up.”

After the movie, Colby’s dad, Michael Curtin, who is divorced from Lisa Curtin, came to visit.

Colby died with her mom and dad nearby at 9:20 p.m.

Among the Up memorabilia the employee gave Colby was an “adventure book” – a scrap book the main character’s wife used to chronicle her journeys.

“I’ll have to fill those adventures in for her,” Lisa Curtin said.

myadventurebook

In UP, 78 year old Carl Fredrickson buys a plane ticket for his wife and himself to visit South America like they always promised each other they would some day, but she dies shortly after the purchase.

UP is the story of Carl going to extreme lengths to fulfill his promise to his late wife after finding her “Adventure Book” from their childhood, so he may fill in the blank pages with the adventures in South America they never got to have…

Dying 8 year old “marries” his sweetheart before death

Reece Fleming was given only weeks to live. He proposed to his ‘special friend’ Elleanor Purgslove at the most romantic of places: laser tag.

Reece was 8 years old. He had been “seeing” his special friend Ellie for a few years but then they broke up. But one day at a laser tag party, he asked her to marry him and she accepted.

Their parents arranged a make-believe wedding at Reece’s home in Mackworth, Derby. He died the next day with his family.

Reece’s mother Lorraine Fleming said he told her, “I can go now” after his wish had been granted.

The 28-year-old said: “”He was so proud of her, and we were proud of them both.”

Reece was diagnosed with leukaemia in July 2004, when he was aged just four.

He fought the disease for four years until May when doctors told him he had just weeks to live.

Ms Fleming, said she and his stepfather Mick Thompson had tried to help him achieve as much as possible before his death, including marrying his sweetheart.

Full Story here >

The Onion: Press Secretary Spins Wife’s Death As A Positive

White House Press Secretary Ted Barrett deflects questions about the gruesome car wreck that killed his wife, instead focusing on the President’s agenda. The premise and concept is marvelous. It made me LOL.
For those new to the Onion: it is satire. this is not real…