80s Toys Getting 21st Century Alien-slut Updates

They changed My Little Ponies… and I accepted…

They came for Rainbow Bright… and I said nothing…

They hijacked Strawberry Shortcake and I was outraged, but I did not march…

Now they have destroyed the Troll dolls… and I fear it is too late…

The original trolls dolls, left, debuted in the 1960s with chubby bodies, unruly hair and pug noses. More recently they’ve been updated — while they still have only four fingers on each hand, the new Trollz line created for the animated TV series by DiC Entertainment features short skirts, bare midriffs, giant eyes and even styled hair.

R.I.P. Childhood. Hello new generation of prosti-tots…