Tag: batman

Marco Rubio gets the most important question right

On the eve of the 3rd GOP Primary debate, the campaign for Florida Sen Marco Rubio released this nifty lightning-round style question session of the candidate titled “15 Questions Marco Won’t Be Asked at the Debate”. It’s a good social media spot that highlights the Senators natural demeanor and quickness that subliminally contrasts him with the Democratic frontrunner, a slowly calculating robot named Hillary.

Thank friggin goodness he got the most important question right. When asked who would win in a fight between my 2 favorite SuperHeroes since childhood – Spiderman or Batman – Marco answers perfectly.

Rubio answers every question quickly and concisely with minimal deliberation but one from the bunch causes the candidate to pause in consideration. He starts to deliver what to the layman seems like the obvious answer by starting the “SSS” of “Spiderman” but then, thoughtful analyst that he is, takes a moment to really weigh the opponents. He confirms with the off-camera questioner, his choices: “Spiderman or Batman?” and pauses with a “hm” and a look to the side as he accesses the logical areas of his brain to retrieve the relevant and necessary fact points and then delivers the correct answer: “Probably Batman”.

It’s actually not just the correct answer, but the perfect answer, for the following reasons:

THE DELIBERATION IS NECESSARY
Spiderman vs Batman is a matchup that requires a moment of thought. An immediate answer doesn’t reveal accuracy but rather reveals which character you simply like better and would root for to win. If such a question is to be taken seriously, at least a moment of analysis is required before blurting out an answer as the heroes are not so obvious in the outcome of their strengths and vulnerabilities could suggest.

Rubio showed himself to be a serious and thoughtful servant of the public in taking his time to reflect on the choice posed to him before blurting out an irresponsible answer.

THE FINAL ANSWER IS CORRECT
Surveying the fighters: Spiderman has meta-human strength & agility, tactile gadgets, unparalleled acrobatic ability and a super sense that alerts him to surprise attacks while Batman has “the peak of what the human body is capable of without chemical or meta enhancement” and an array of gadgets.

After analyzing the data in detail, an objective mind puts the odds on the bet that Batman would win against most comic book foes, Spiderman included, which is initially counterintuitive until one explores the reasons this is so. Fully understanding why Batman is such a formidable foe despite constantly being out-gunned and out-powered by rivals is something I’ve explained at length before but to summarize: Batman has the stealth power of superior strategy. In combat, the only thing that matters is strategy and if your superior strategizing can blindside your opponent then you are more likely to successfully defeat them. Batman is both routinely over-prepared and massively underestimated, allowing him to pull dark-horse victories against extremely deadly meta-humans, monsters, machines, armies, aliens, and fellow heroes.

THE “PROBABLY” IS WHAT MAKES IT A PERFECT ANSWER
Some hypothetical battles can be predicted with certainty and most are various degrees of likelihood. A Batman vs Spiderman battle isn’t obvious, and there are certainly a number of ways the Wall Crawler could defeat the Dark Knight (those are both nicknames for Spiderman & Batman, in case i’m losing you there), but the right answer is in fact “probably Batman”.

You cannot be President of anything important or hold any office of any consequence whatsoever without getting this question right and Sen Rubio hit it out of the park.

New Multi-Person Torture Device Baring Batman Logo to Debut in Texas …

Six Flags Fiesta Texas is opening their first 4D roller coaster (a term i’m still not understanding) in 2015 and calling it BATMAN because, as all of its DC themed rides, it has absolutely nothing to do with Batman (but why pass up the opportunity to use the name recognition for easy-promotional purposes?).

The ride will offer park-goers the experience of “flying like Batman“, a super hero who cannot fly. Well. He’s a skilled pilot. But This isn’t a plane ride. It’s a zipping-around-and-sudden-freefalling ride.

The world’s first, one-of-a-kind onboard magnetic technology featuring six smooth head-over-heels free-fly flips providing guests the feeling of weightlessness as they soar outside the confines of a traditional track

A 4D wing coaster that seats up to eight and has riders “face their fears” by allowing them to physically face each other as they tumble head-over-heels

A 120-foot tall hill that is ascended by an elevator-style lift straight up; Two beyond 90-degree raven drops giving the sensation of free-falling

Five vehicles with eight passengers each

A Bruce Wayne/Batman theme throughout the queue line featuring the Batmobile and Bat-Signal.

ug…

The Dark Knight Rises as an allegory for the 2012 Election

All this talk of Mitt Romney (whose primary win in New Hampshire tomorrow and then in South Carolina and then in Florida will secure his nomination for president) and his previous work at the investment firm Bain Capital has made me think of a metaphor…

Mitt Romney = Bane.
The toughest match the Dark Knight has ever had to face.

Barack Obama = the Dark Knight
Once thought of as a hero, now thought to be a monster, he must return to fight for his ideals.

Commissioner Gordon = The Tea Party 
Traditionalist called by a sense of duty to engage in a battle to preserve what is radically decaying before his eyes.

 Catwoman = Occupy Wall Street
An otherwise uninvolved player, motivated by and attracted to chaos whose sense of entitlement brings her/them to class warfare and a life of law breaking they feel is morally justified cuz rich people have stuff and they don’t. She’s angry because she’s ignorant – mainly in her misunderstanding of economics, thinking of it as a pie with a finite amount of slices.

How does it all end?…

Take it either way:

Romney/Bane succeeds in doing what other more experienced contenders previously failed at and breaks the people’s hero?

Or

Obama/Batman gets broken by a strong challenger but ultimately wins in the end?

We’ll find out in about 10 months…

Catwoman and Bane cast in next Nolan Batman abortion

Deadline.com says that Warner Brothers has announced that Anne Hathaway has been cast in the role of Selina Kyle in Christopher Nolan’s ‘The Dark Knight Rises.’ That is of course Catwomans real name, but the report doesn’t say anything about whether she will evolve to that point in the next movie. Spoiler alert: she will. If the Nolan movies had any concern for build up via character development, they would have done smart things like put Harvey Dent in the first movie. So Catwoman is the next character to get stupified in Batman #3 (sorry – I know you’re all very excited cuz you love these movies but I hate them. not as movies but as Batman movies).

catwoman

There is buzz about roles being cast for Talia al Goul (finally) and Vicki Vale (unnecessary) and the Tom Hardy villain role has been confirmed as Bane, which is a character that is allegedly popular in some circles.

bane

Here’s the official press release on the casting:

BURBANK, Calif. — Warner Bros. Pictures announced today that Anne Hathaway has been cast as Selina Kyle in Christopher Nolan’s “The Dark Knight Rises.” She will be starring alongside Christian Bale, who returns in the title role of Bruce Wayne/Batman.

Christopher Nolan stated, “I am thrilled to have the opportunity to work with Anne Hathaway, who will be a fantastic addition to our ensemble as we complete our story.”

In addition, Tom Hardy has been set to play Bane. Nolan said, “I am delighted to be working with Tom again and excited to watch him bring to life our new interpretation of one of Batman’s most formidable enemies.”

Nolan will direct the film from a screenplay he wrote with Jonathan Nolan, from a story by Christopher Nolan and David S. Goyer. Nolan will also produce the film with his longtime producing partner, Emma Thomas, and Charles Roven.

“The Dark Knight Rises” is slated for release on July 20, 2012. The film will be distributed worldwide by Warner Bros. Pictures, a Warner Bros. Entertainment Company.

(false) Claim: Johnny Depp will be the Riddler, Hoffman to play Penguin

There have been insane and scary buzz rumors about the next Batman movie, including Cher playing Catwoman, Johnny Depp give us a new interpretation of the Riddler and suggestions turned into speculation about Hoffman playing the penguin (which he denied just days ago, which shouldn’t surprise anyone considering the weakness of these claims and rumors).

johnny depp as the riddlerOne rumor’s source has been confirmed though, and that is that Johnny Depp and Phil Hoffman were in fact suggested to play their rumored parts. Stuff.co.nz has “confirmed” that both actors will appear in Batman 3, but the actual claim is just that they were wanted for the job.

Michael Caine, who plays Alfred in the Nolan-Batmen said to MTV: “I was with a Warner Bros executive and I said, ‘Are we going to make another one?’ They said, ‘Yeah’.

“I said, ‘How the hell are we going to top Heath Ledger as The Joker? And he says, ‘I’ll tell you how you top Heath – Johnny Depp as The Riddler and Philip Seymour Hoffman as The Penguin’.

“I said, ‘Shit, they’ve done it again’.”

“Shit they’ve done it again” sounds like an odd exclamation for Cain to utter, but ok.

Work is expected to begin on the next movie, starring Christian Bale as Batman, some time next year.

A downer for Nolan fans however, as he says he ain interested in making another Batman:

Ain’t It Cool News: Eckhart: I think Heath was the one that was going to come back. And since he can’t… (Pauses) You know, Chris hasn’t said that he’s going to make another one.

[Interviewer]: True. He’s been on vacation. I spoke to David Goyer at Comic Con, and he said there have been no discussions.

Eckhart: (Smiling) He never said he’s going to make another one. I’m sure they drove the Brinks truck up to his house and dumped money on his lawn. But I think Chris wants to go out and make other movies, too. And he should. He’s an independent filmmaker at heart. He’s got a lot of ideas.

The Riddler in the Dark Knight Returns

An excellent fan rendition of what the next Nolan Batman movie might look like. Rumors are abound, including Johnny Depp as the Riddler, but none are anywhere near conformable and no deals have been made, scripts drafted, actors cast, or budget provided. All speculation, but still fun


click for full size/high res

click for high res/full

Why the Dark Knight Sucked

Just a quick summary to hold you over until a detailed essay and companion video or two are released:

instead of messaging me and yapping on my comments about how dumbfounded you are that anyone couldn’t be in love with this garbage of a movie – my criticism is not of it as a “film”. only as a batman film. as a crime drama/psychological thriller, it was pretty decent and fun with some clever and cool parts that i enjoyed. as a batman movie it was shit.
WHY? because this “interpretation” is more of a “reinvention”. it doesn’t add and subtract things from the characters to fit a specific narrative – it trashes the source material and completely rewrites the villains personality, history, mannerisms, thought processes, approach to crime, criminal philosophy, and relationship to each other.

To fully understand why this matters ladies – imagine if the upcoming Twilight movie did that… exactly. you’d be squirting yourselves with rage.

so chill out if you liked the movie and don’t care about batman. but a thousand shames be upon you if you call yourself a batman fan and think this movie was a respectable addition to the legacy.

[Picture temporarily unavailable]
this guys shitty makeup and costume is actually better than Ledgers

here is the breakdown:

Gotham City: mediocre
Mobsters: mediocre
Bruce wayne: mediocre
Batman: 50/50 crappy/good representation
Gordon: great
Alfred: great
Harvey Dent: terrible
Two-Face: terrible, with the exception of him looking great
Joker: unforgivably terrible in every way possible. Awful times a thousand plus one. shares 100% of nothing with the character in any part of its history (besides killing people and robbing banks, but they don’t count).

Those are the 9 main “characters” of the movie and 3 are yawn worthy, only 3 managed to get it right and 3 were truly terrible.

THATS why it sucked.