Tag: parenting

Motherhood makes you dumber

Blame this guy, ladies. not me.

Do women temporarily get stupider when they have a baby? My wife thought so about her two births; so did my two daughters who have had children, and they tell me that all the other mothers they know think so, too. Now, as science marches on, it appears that it really is true. Jessica Henry and Barbara Sherwin have an article in the forthcoming issue of Behavioral Neuroscience reporting that women in late pregnancy and soon after birth had significantly lower scores than a control group on a variety of cognitive tasks, and conclude that changes in the levels of cortisol and estradiol may be involved.

“It’s nature’s way of hosing down the mind,” a family friend explained it to my wife when she was caring for her three-week-old and complaining that she had lost her brains. And when you think about it, what better way to help a new mother cope with the infinite demands of an infant on her life?

Is it motherhood that makes some of these protestors think that annoying people on the street without a defined purpose is “changing the world”? What are the rest of these peoples excuses then?

Worlds Youngest Grandma is a 23yr old Romanian Gypsy

Rifca Stanescu was 12 when she had her first baby but don’t worry: she was married. She wedded upstanding jewelery seller Ionel Stanescu when she was 11 and he was 13.

She added: ‘Before that there was a lot of fighting – once my father had even attacked my husband with a knife. He wanted him to pay 500,000 lei in compensation. My family even took me home but after three days I ran away again to be with him.’

After Maria’s birth, Ionel’s family paid Rifca’s father a dowry and all was settled.

Maria’s birth made Rifca’s mother a grandmother aged 40.

Rifca said she begged daughter Maria to stay in school and finish her education.

Maria decided to follow in her footsteps and marry herself. Within six months she too had fallen pregnant with Ion.

She told how in Romanian gypsy community it is common for couples to marry young.

Rifca added: ‘I did not try to stop my daughter getting married because this is the tradition, it’s what happens.’

The youngest British grandmother was an unnamed 26-year-old from Rotherham, Yorkshire whose 12-year-old daughter gave birth in 1999.

Tiger Parents

‘The solution to substandard performance is always to excoriate, punish and shame the child’ … Amy Chua.

At first that quote sounds pretty coocoobananas but she does say “substandard” performance, so really isn’t that just logical? What are you supposed to to with a childs substandard performance except to punish and shame them for it? That part, I’m down with. When you go into the robotic requirements of what constitute a Tiger mothers standards, THEN maybe not so much:

The Tiger, Chua explains, is “the living symbol of strength and power”, inspiring fear and respect. And as a “Tiger mother” herself, she assumed the absolute right to dictate her children’s activities and demand rigorous academic standards of them at all times, ridiculing them if necessary to spur them on to greater efforts.

Her children were never allowed to attend a sleepover, have a playdate, watch TV or choose their own extracurricular activities. They were also expected to be top in every subject (except gym and drama) and never get anything other than A-grades – because, Chua explains, Chinese parents believe it is their responsibility to ensure their children’s academic achievement above everything else.

Chua argues that western parents. with their emphasis on nurturing their children’s self-esteem and allowing free expression, have set their children up to accept mediocrity. “Western parents are concerned about their children’s psyches. Chinese parents aren’t. They assume strength, not fragility, and as a result they behave very differently,” she says. If their child doesn’t achieve perfect exam results, the Chinese parent assumes it’s because he or she didn’t work hard enough. “That’s why the solution to substandard performance is always to excoriate, punish and shame the child,” Chua says. And it is crucial for a mother to have the “fortitude” to override her children’s preferences, because to enjoy anything you have to be good at it, to be good at it you have to work, and children on their own never wish to work, she adds.

Most of us know that it’s of course not true that you don’t have to be good at something to enjoy it, but it illustrates a main difference between the two cultures: When enjoyment is your main goal then you can enjoy almost anything but when success is your main goal then enjoyment only comes through excellence. The two philosophies also show the opposite ends of bad parenting: this “no fun, ever, just work to please your parents” bullshit vs Western societies “do whatever you want and that will be good because you want it and i’m your friend not your parent” bullshit. The point is: they’re both bullshit.

Parents are joining Facebook. media notices

Oh Crap. My Parents Joined Facebook.
myparentsjoinedfacebook.com

What Happens When Parents Join Facebook – TIME

There’s no buzzkill quite like getting a friend request on Facebook from Mommy and Daddy dearest. Not to mention the philosophical quandaries that result: Do I accept? If I accept, do they go on limited profile? If they’re on limited profile, what do they get to see? Will they bug me and my friends? For many, the easier solution is just to bail on Facebook entirely.

When Mom or Dad Asks To Be a Facebook ‘Friend’ – Washington Post

Across the country, Facebook users are contemplating similar questions when they log onto their accounts. More and more moms and dads are signing onto Facebook to keep up with their offspring. Not only are they friending (or attempting to friend) their sons and daughters, they’re friending their sons’ and daughters’ friends.

Some, like Matt, take the requests in stride. He ultimately friended his dad. Others are less sanguine, voicing their dismay via online groups that decry parental intrusion and offer tips on how to screen out mom and dad. (“Just go onto their computers and delete their accounts.” “Just don’t add them as a friend or any1 that is a co-worker with ur parents duh.”) Even parenting experts are getting involved, offering their own tips on proper Facebook etiquette.

Teens to parents: It’s our Facebook – USA TODAY

In September 2005, Facebook opened its doors to high-schoolers, then in September 2006, to all comers — and coming they are.

That month, about 75,000 active users on the site were 35 or older, accounting for fewer than 1% of all active users, according to data provided by Facebook. By August 2007, the number shot up 4,700% to 3.6 million active users 35 and older. That accounts for about 9% of active users.

Living in the world without the usual social barriers between generations is causing a little discomfort for some and downright angst for others.

“Think about what it would be like if your mom or dad enrolled in your high school class,” says Steve Jones, communications professor at the University of Illinois, Chicago. “They don’t belong there. That’s the same feeling (children) have: ‘This is ours. This belongs to me. This is not for parents.’ ”

The generation that grew up with the Internet has “this sense of ‘This is not something you’ll ever get. You won’t understand what we’re doing. You’re going to ruin it. We’ll never be ourselves if there is an adult around here.’ “

‘Omg my mom joined Facebook!!’ – New York Times

At Facebook.com, I eyed the home page (“Everyone can join”) with suspicion. I doubted Facebook’s sincerity. What could a site created by a student who was born three years after I started mispronouncing “Henri Cartier-Bresson” want with me?

Realizing that these were cynical, mocking thoughts cheered me — I felt edgier already — and gave me the courage to join.

After I got my Profile page, the first thing I did was to search for other members — my daughter and her friends — to ask them to be my friends.

Shockingly, quite a few of them — the friends, not the daughter — accepted my invitation and gave me access to their Profiles, including their interests, hobbies, school affiliations and in some cases, physical whereabouts.

Cool parents opt out of Facebook – Seatle PI

Pretty soon, Facebook and I really opened up. I needed it constantly. I started to check the site as much as my e-mail. I shared my cell phone, address, gory details about my incompetence in the kitchen and every photo in which I don’t look supremely unattractive (my friends’ appearances notwithstanding). Browsing my friends’ profiles became a habit. Facebook is my drug. My hub. My swirling vortex of social chaos. It lets me stay in touch on my own time, on my own terms. I sail its pristine blue and white pages with the wind at my back and a clear view of my social landscape. What was life before Facebook? Did I ever actually keep a real live photo album? Call friends at home — on land lines? Send letters?

Forget e-mail and the Internet. Without Facebook, I’d feel … shipwrecked.