4 Superbowl 2016 Lowlights

OMFG! I’m so excited for this years Superbowl football team competition game!!! jk. I know nothing about the teams or even the sport and would say I am unable to care less except for the fact that I know I hope the ponies win over the kitties cuz everyone is telling me the kitties are gonna take it, so I’m betting on TeamHorse. I intend to spend the time focusing on things that actually matter and peeking my head into the Grand Hall every once in awhile when Wheeler yells that commercials are on but anything else I catch will be noted.

UPDATE: Didn’t do much as far as life-blogging the event cuz it bored me to tears so badly but go me for betting on the winners. Now here are 5 losing moments from it all:

1- National Anthem Butchery
The American National Anthem should be sung up-tempo at a brisk pace without dramatic change to the inflection of the words. Why is this formula so abhorrent to musical blowhards? Lady Gaga is more talented and has better style than the silly hair and glitter suit with matching eyelids she wore while underperforming the anthem in that drawn out goofy style. Talented singers should be using the opportunity to showcase the anthem, not their spin on it. I like the idea of a Lady Gaga style rendition of the anthem delivered in a Gaga style costume and get-up, but not this style and not this get-up. I disapproved.

2- The Black-Power Halftime Show


For historians looking back at this post, I should note that this is written in the year 2016 in America, the least oppressive, most opportunity-giving country to minorities of all kinds on the planet. Beyonce went of the deep end with a literal “black power” performance. The “literal” addition is necessary to note that it’s not a disconnected observer tsk-tsk-ing something they don’t understand in some by-gone time of cultural bubble commentating but rather an information exposed internet-connected time where the ridiculous pandering to the lowest common denominator of by-gone segregations are being bizarrely glorified. Having such a whine-fest of supposed victimhood of an entire race of people, 60 years after any law allowing any kind of government allowable suppression of a race in the midst of a black-skinned presidents 2nd term in office is so small minded and counter-productive to unity, tolerance, and general acceptance that it is the kind of thing that deserves scorn and ridicule, not celebration at such a big event. Idk what the people who approved this display where thinking. It doesn’t help anything to re-inforce victim mindedness through an empowerment message when there is no racial oppression of any significance to overcome. Be empowered because you’re a person in a free society, not because you’re a black person in a white society. Get with the times, you dummies.

#Beyoncé Super Bowl performance yesterday. #DoubleStandard#BlackPantherparty#SuperBowl50

Posted by Johnathan Gentry on Monday, February 8, 2016

3- Absent: Good Commercials. Present: Dumb Attacks on them
The only thing I watch during this event and I already forgot them all. The only ones I remember are from tangential stories about them like the monkey baby thing allegedly being a tongue twister (i have no problem saying it) and the abortion rights group NARAL getting mad at the Doritos commercial that “humanized” a human fetus. I’m fine with people choosing abortion if their pregnancy has negative affects on their Doritos or other snack chip supply but it it’s more than a little-bit-completely stupid of an argument that developing human babies shouldn’t be humanized just because it makes you feel better about snipping it outta you, should you want to. Funny that humanizing animals is encouraged but humanizing human babies – omgz! noez!

4- Ponies Beat the Kitties
Everyone told me the cat team was going to ride the horse team to an easy win so evidently this was a big upset. Good.