Finally: A horror movie where the “monster” is a vagina

Teeth is a horror film about a teenage girl who has teeth in her vagina. It premiered January 19, 2007 at the 2007 Sundance Film Festival in the independent drama category.

The weirdest part? There is a history of this… in folklore at least. Significant enough to have a name: Vagina dentata…

Vagina dentata (Latin for toothed vagina) describes a folk tale in which a woman’s vagina is said to contain teeth, with the associated implication that sexual intercourse might result in injury or castration for the man.

The grain of truth in these stories is that dermoid cysts, which can occur anywhere in the body, often contain teeth. Although there are no documented examples, it is hypothetically possible for a tooth-containing dermoid cyst to develop in a woman’s vagina.

As an anti-rape propaganda tool (lol):

Such folk stories are frequently told as cautionary tales warning of the dangers of sex with strange women and to discourage rape.

Erich Neumann relays one such myth in which “a fish inhabits the vagina of the Terrible Mother; the hero is the man who overcomes the Terrible Mother, breaks the teeth out of her vagina, and so makes her into a woman.”

The legend also appears in the mythology of the Chaco and Guiana tribes of South America. In some versions, the hero leaves one tooth. An Ainu language tale containing this element was published as “The Island of Women” by Basil Hall Chamberlain, where it was described as a well known Japanese tale by E. B. Tylor.

Cleaner than that African insert that hooks into your rapists penis at least.

Think this can’t get any weirder? There was already a vagina-with-teeth horror movie in 2003 called “Penetration Angst”…

People’s Court Clash: “Call me Dr. Not ‘Honey'”

When I saw this on tv the first time I wasn’t sure which side I agreed with initially. Also, Kimmel doesn’t show that when the Dr exited the court room, he immediately lightened up in the post courtroom interview segment and said how it was all about having fun and he’s glad he came.

Tucker Carlson shows off his dance moves

Tucker and Willie show off their before show prep which involves some dance moves that should be outlawed in a few states.

Actually, I think this is fun and entirely for reasons that I think future readers looking back on this commentary won’t understand. At the time of this writing, this isnt something that exists anywhere in news related commentary broadcasts. It’s a depiction of levity that the culture and ubiquity of such broadcasting from podcasts to internet shows and more and more shows on cable is making more common. But at this time it is unique to see a host goof it up at the end of their segment on cable news. I like it. and I find it historically worthy of note.

Bush administration is royally screwing up Iraq…

Well I’ll tehll yu whut – G. Dubya is gonna turn me into a stinking hippie real quick if he can’t (read: won’t) find a better team of managers to make his bumbling in Iraq not be a stain on his legacy that essentially reads “everything they said about him being a dumbass war loving tool was correct”…

Democrats lied about the “Bush lied” sloganeering for months to try and defeat him in an election just to replace him with an exactly-as-aggressive foreign policy platform (just under a goofier, impossibly less-charismatic candidate with a somehow even more scummier slippery politician as VP than Darth Cheney) – but that doesn’t mean Bush and his administration ever had this thing under control or would do a good job.

At this point, 2 years after invading, an objective analysis can only read that he’s doing a bad job. and he’s not showing any sign of changing strategy…

WTF tho? (in this case, “Why” the fkk?)

Just because Democrats were dishonest and wrong in their talking points against the war (after they were for it at first, and then slowly started to be for it again after the election in all the key pockets that actually matter like spending and voting on troop deployment) doesn’t mean Dubya knows what he’s doing. Deciphering what the administrations plan is exactly is getting more and more shady.

Bush’s argument for why we can’t leave Iraq is that that would invite more of our enemies to flood in and take over. Well… yea, that’s likely true, but… well take this quote from CNN about it:

During a speech billed by the White House as a major policy address, Bush said if U.S. forces withdraw from Iraq, insurgents would “use the vacuum created by an American retreat to gain control of a country, a base from which to launch attacks and conduct their war against nonradical Muslim governments.”

Critics have charged that the Iraq war has become a breeding ground for terror, while opinion polls suggest that U.S. public support for the war has been waning since spring.

It’s not just “critics charging” that the Iraq war has become a breeding ground for terror… it is verifiably doing exactly that… and that’s what makes it a tough issue to decode. Because on the one hand, the Democrats are just incoherent liars in claiming that the war in Iraq that the overwhelming majority of them supported for years before 9/11, then after 9/11, then when Congress voted on it, then afterward, –then not anymore but in words only while continuing to give it all their political support. But on the other hand – the initial success in the invasion that a coalition of nations agreed was a necessary action to take is being quickly overshadowed by what appears to just be a lack of competency. Idk if that is Bush’s fault or just Governments fault in being bad at basically any and every big undertaking it uses force to implement whether it is confiscatory tax policies, government expansion of power domestically, or the removal and attempted replacement of a dictatorial regime in the middle east. But something is not right and if the administration doesn’t get it right soon then they will just validate all the hippies who claimed there was no plan and no exit strategy.

Those hippies will still be liars about the other claims, but all it takes is to be right about the main aspect of a thing for the public and for history to review it as having been right about the whole thing all together.

So we will see if things improve and whose policies get the credit for it, but if American troops keep coming home in body bags just to “stabilize and rebuild this hornets nest we knocked down” over in the sands of a country most people couldn’t find on a map – Bush’s second term and entire legacy will be one of the worst in modern history. The “try him for war crimes” bumper sticker started out as nonsense, but through doubling down on something that isn’t going well at the cost of American blood and treasure every day, he is making that nonsense a reality.

Get your sh**t together Dubya & Co…