Take Note, Ladies: Ideal Breast Shape Found

While most gentleman know that the perfect shaped breast is whatever the one in your hand, Patrick Mallucci, Consultant Plastic Surgeon at University College London and the Royal Free Hospitals conducted a study to find a more acute answer. The surgeon studied 100 glamour models (which sounds like a hugely outdated term but I guess it’s appropriate or at least more so than “bitches who show their tits in magazines for money”) to find out “what it is that makes readers find these breasts appealing to the eye, and whether there is a common theme between them that might define that”.

Titled Concepts In Aesthetic Breast Dimensions: Analysis Of The Ideal Breast, Mallucci’s study analysed the breasts of 100 topless models and came up with this.

‘We used computer measuring tools to examine the dimensions and proportions of each pair of breasts, identifying four features common to all of them,’ he explains.
The features analysed were the dimensions of the upper and lower pole, medical terms that describe the areas above and below the nipple; plus the angle at which the nipple points and the slope of the upper pole.

‘The study revealed that in all cases the nipple ‘‘meridian’’ – the horizontal line drawn at the level of the nipple – lay at a point where, on average, the proportion of the breast above it represented 45 per cent of overall volume of the breast and below it 55 per cent.
‘In the majority of cases the upper pole was either straight or concave, and the nipple was pointing skywards at an average angle of 20 degrees. In all cases the breasts demonstrated a tight convex lower pole – a neat but voluminous curve.

‘For the second part of the study I analysed images of the breasts of ordinary women pre- and post- implant surgery to establish whether, if a breast deviates from these measurements, it becomes less attractive. And the answer is that it does, regardless of size.’

For the first time plastic surgeons now have a powerful visual imagery of the proportions that make a breast attractive. ‘Now we can show women images to highlight shape and form that will actually give them what they want,’ says Mallucci.


Shakira She Wolf

When super gay dudes call a piece of media involving female nudity “really hott” and lavish praise on it, I usually know to stay away. Not because they can’t judge female-hottness very well – because they can’t do so in media very well. They’re too easily distracted by special effects, style and sparklie objects.

So when a front line soldier in America’s army of gheay recommended I see Shakira’s new music video for the hot-factor, I was less than enthused. For the previous reason, but also because Shakira always came just short of hot on the rating scale for me 10 years ago, so it sounds impossible that she could pass that mark now.

shakira thigh master

I started watching out of duty, and although everything seems to be working against this being entertaining and/or sexy: her age (I Googled to find that she’s 32), the theme of the video (werewolf? seriously?…), the techno vibe, the — wtf? – is she popping and locking?? robot dances in a werewolf music video? no.. no, this is all wrong.

Except it isn’t… it’s good. it all works. and it works beautifully.



UPDATE
: This version of the song is…also…good?
(click the image to watch)……………………………………………

The bikini chick from American Idol was hated on for looking good

American Idol contestants try to get noticed by things other than their alleged talent like costumes or signs or costumes. It usually just serves as a way to mock the attempt but this is clearly the best attention getter stunt of the series.

Of course the new chick on the panel had a problem with it but bikini girls talent was just as good as any of the others and her sexable body was slightly more appealing to watch than Ruben Studdard or Justin Guarini’s so I approved of the fluff that makes this otherwise mediocre talent show a predictable slog. The lady judge had an immediate problem with the stunt because of the innate sense within the chick brain that desires to “nest” and seek safety. A younger, attractive female is a threat to this safety and her youth must be mocked and her attractiveness derided in order to neutralize the perceived threat. In this case the threat is psychological, as her presence and the inevitable attention it gets shifts the power dynamic away from the hippie core of the feminist-with-something-to-prove mindset. It’s an interesting case study in gender psychology and the sociological reactions to evolutionary defaults. Plus bikini.

UPDATE: Katrina Darrell, the bikini girl, returned to Idol for some…thing. idk. but now sporting a new set of boobs (breast implants). What a heart warming lateral-moving Cinderella story. or something.

Sorry body-shamers, but this move was a definite improvement.