Author: Richard

Nickelback Releases Song just as dumb as its source material

 

Cultural leaders, political commentators, social change activists, and handsome improv comedians have pontificated on the events of Ferguson Missouri, but the country remains directionless in its inquiry of the subject. Luckily Nickelback is here to lead the way.

At long last, the musical and political luminaries that comprise Nickelback have written a song inspired by the protests and unrest in Ferguson. We waited with bated breath as events unfolded in the St. Louis suburb, lacking direction in a world seemingly gone mad. But without guidance from the ‘Back (I like to call ’em “the ‘Back”), we onlookers bumbled about, unsure where to turn.

But no more.

In an interview with extremely relevant site Yahoo! Music from earlier this month, the extremely relevant Chad Kroeger, Nickelback frontman, discussed the track “Edge of a Revolution” from the band’s latest album, No Fixed Address, released last week on Republic Records. Within the Live Nation-sponsored blog post, between questions about Kroeger’s wife Avril Lavigne and Judas Priest’s Rob Halford, music journalist Jon Wiederhorn asked about the track.

Kroeger thinks North America is on the verge of a revolution and just had ta sang about it, ya know?

You turn on CNN and it’s like, “Wow!” We’d have it on for 15 minutes and we’d have to shut it off because it was so depressing. The state of affairs in the world these days is so dismal. And I think that’s where the song definitely came from. While we were working, the [shooting of Michael Brown in Ferguson, Missouri] was a major story and there was rioting like crazy. So it definitely felt like the seeds of revolution were being planted.

I always thought the internet meme of anti-Nickelbacking was overdone and that they weren’t actually that bad as portrayed but after listening to this track with horrible lyrics like “What do we want? We want the change/And how’re we gonna get there? Revolution.” plus the vapid inspiration behind it, I may have to join the haters.

Don’t Nickelback. Not even once…

Adding an extra layer of awful to this already unappetizing venture is not just the elitist take on the protesting in Ferguson in where millionaires in entertainment media irresponsibly comment emotionally instead of taking the opportunity to actually lead on the issue is the cliche anti-Rich hypocrisy involved in the whole hippie mess. The Song slams rich people for buying yachts but it’s okay for the rich members of Nickelback to enjoy unnecessary luxury including transportation and real estate because…they sing songs?

As Greg Gutfeld notes, Kroeger rhymes “CIA” with “NSA” and “revolution” with “solution”, saying  “he’s Kipling with frosted tips”.

If you want to punish your eyes and ears you can sample the music video here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IYnuSsM7tRw

A point covered in this vid from conspiracy crackpot Alex Jones’ network:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=abI5W3GxTz8

Chillax: Charles Manson marrying some dumbass crazy girl says nothing about you being single

As predicted right after the “Manson gettin Married” news broke yesterday, the dominant joke about it will be that this freak has what you don’t. But the point is bunk and I urge you not to follow suit.

The lady marrying Manson is a groupie who is obsessed with him… I promise anyone reading this that if you pay the market rate for equal publicity as Manson, you will achieve gaining at *least* one star-fkker who is similarly infatuated with you. So whats the joke then? See, it’s supposed to be that “this loser isn’t single but you are, thus your pathetic state of affairs (or lack thereof) is at a lower point than this loser” but to whom anywhere does that actually apply? I know a lot of single people who wish they weren’t single but I don’t know even 1 person who is unable to change that. The problem is that, unlike 80 year old serial killers serving consecutive life sentences in prison, they actually have standards in whom they enter relationships with, or even date. That doesn’t sound hard to explain to me at all…

The image above is circulating the Facebooks in various forms but I’m not impressed with it and neither should you because the premise of the joke isn’t right.

Mainly: that most single people are desperately trying to un-single and will take anything available and failing, while meanwhile, a psychopath with a swastika tattooed on his face has found “love”. Nah… chicks always flock to fame and adding a crazy and/or “dangerous” aspect to the dude only sweetens the odds, attracting a more motivated and broken crop of female, so it’s really quite common. You only have to explain common occurrences to dumb and ignorant people. Meanwhile, if you are single and you don’t want to be, you have to examine that as well. I suspect that if you wanted, you could get an equally broken man or woman to devote themselves to you. If that’s not what you want then there is no comparison and this image can’t make you feel bad.

Is this really the kind of Love you’re looking for?…. Really?….

So chillax, y’all. You are a lonely mess not because no one wants to love you, but because you haven’t as-of-late crossed paths with a lovable enough person for whom feels similarly towards you. Not that big a deal.

You’re welcome.

Dude casually sips coffee amid chaos of a brawl around him

Don’t ask me wtf is going on here cuz I have zero information about this clip but it’s excellent. Homeboy is just chillaxing in a coffee shop when a gang of masked men storm the place. But they’re attacking a group at another table, so focul-guy see’s no reason to pay it any mind.

I would actually love this even more if he was in on it. Like one of the SAW movies (I won’t say which one to avoid the spoiler but it’s one of the first 7 of them…) where the mastermind was actually in the vicinity of the crime the whole time the victims were trying to escape it.

Mass Murderer, Manson, Merrily Mates with Moron Millennial

Everyones favorite mass murderer with a swastika tattoo between his eyes, Charles Manson, is reportedly marrying an idiot named Afton Elaine Burton, who goes by the name “Star.”

This is why you are a morally bankrupt tool if you oppose the Death Penalty. The concept that all murderers deserve to continue living no matter what, is such a gross and logically obtuse opposition to basic ethics that it makes perfect sense that this would be taking place in California.

The only positive aspect of this news item is that “Star” is 26 years old and Manson is 80. That’s pretty awesome, but the fact that he’s alive to marry a 26 year old is not.

None of his 7 victims, including pregnant actress Sharon Tate, will be attending the service, because oh ya – they’re dead. And the reason the man responsible for them being dead deserves to be alive is what, exactly, again?… What other crime is there that lets a person keep what was lost to their victim? I couldn’t steal a cupcake in kindergarten without having my own cupcake taken away but I could steal a life and keep my own? Under any circumstances whatsoever? (cuz remember that being pro-death-penalty doesnt mean that “every single murder conviction should result in death” but being against it means that “every single murderer must stay alive”). Wtf is wrong with you people?

It’s too bad there’s the details of the whole killing aspects cuz, especially with the age difference, I otherwise love the story: Woman see’s man and becomes obsessed with him, creates a bunch of websites talking about how great he his, dedicates life to exonerating him, “loves” him and sticks with him despite the separation of a federal prison standing between them. That’s awesome. Would be a fairy tale worth celebrating if it had less blood. Like a version of Crazy Love from Adam Sandlers What the Hell Happened To Me, which I listened to on a near never ending loop in 8th grade dreaming of being obsessed over by a mentally damaged sycophantic female. sigh… the good ole days.

Just a quick reminder that you wasted your time and money in college

Those of you not enjoying the daily spoils of a job specific to the skills and knowledge you spent all that time and money in a university to acquire are not alone.

Conan O’brien – New study reveals that up to 41% of college graduates are working in jobs that don’t require a degree. By the way – I’m one of them.

Chillax. Ebola isn’t a threat to Western Civilization

As soon as this ebola nonsense became the easy go-to panic-attack for the media to collectively have a fit over instead of anything that actually matters, I knew we’d be in for a long bombardment of scaremongering but it’s annoying and needs to get kicked in the nuts already.

The ebola virus, as far as everything we currently know, is not transmittable by air. Maybe some mutant zombie version will get out there and slaughter us all but as of now there is no reason whatsoever to think that is even possible, let alone likely. The Americans who contracted it all hung around mass numbers of people and obviously traveled from Africa and despite doing so in metal tubes of recirculated air for many hours, no passengers contracted the virus. That should tell you what you need to know.

As usual, dumbass hippies are to blame. There’s nothing a hippie loves more than to spread fear over something there is nothing to hold legitimate fear over and the foundation of hippie religion is that all cultures are exactly the same (stemming from its Marxist roots). But cultures arent the same. So just because Ebola is a problem in Africa doesn’t mean it can or will become one in America. You may not have noticed, hippies, but Africa is kindov a sh*thole in many regards. One of them is medical advancement. Wanna know who gets ebola in Africa? People treating ebola patients. Wanna know how? The only way ebola is spread… bodily fluids. People dealing with the blood and vomit of infected patients are more likely to have that infected fluid come in contact with their own open wounds and whatnot and tragically contract the virus. We have better medical standards in America, making that risk far less significant.

Know what else we have? Gatorade. Also known as “the cure for early onset ebola”. That’s not a joke. The first ebola victim in the US could have been saved if he was properly diagnosed. Wanna know how? Not with chemo or heavy treatment or 10 shots of a special anecdote but rather: with an IV drip of electrolytes and bedrest…. This virus is so non-threatening that you can murder it by relaxing with a few bottles of Arctic Blast. CALM DOWN…

Repeat:

You have to contract the virus via bodily fluids from someone who is infected in order to be infected yourself…

Naps and sports drinks are the cure for ebola in its initial stages…

THERE IS NOTHING TO PANIC OVER.

You don’t have to be acting like this guy:

But in fact, ebola isn’t even that huge a plague in Africa, making it twice as ridiculous that we’re accepting this freak-out over it…

Here’s a rule of thumb about diseases: The rarer and less likely they are to kill you, the more hype they get. The New York Times ran more than 2,000 articles on SARS, which ultimately killed zero Americans.

This is only the deadliest outbreak of Ebola virus disease because past ones were so tiny. At this writing, there have been 1,603 reported cases in Africa and 887 deaths.

That’s too many. But every day about 600 sub-Saharan Africans die of tuberculosis, and contagious diarrhea claims the lives of 2,195 children, the vast majority of them in sub-Saharan Africa.

Malaria, syphilis, AIDS and probably dozens of other diseases each year kill Africans at higher rates than Ebola is killing right now.

Don’t get fearmongered into thinking this is any sort of big deal. You’ll all be fine.

Jerry Seinfeld bashes Advertising, Looks Exactly Like Jeffrey Katzenberg

Jerry Seinfeld is a comedian and former sitcom star.
Jeffrey Katzenberg is the head of Dreamworks.
Thicken up his glasses and Jeffrey is Jerry.

Accepting a Clio Award, the Jerry-Jeffrey hybrid celebrity had the following to say about advertising:

I just want to enjoy the commercial. We know the product is going to stink. We know that because we live in the world, and we know that everything stinks. We all believe, ‘Hey, maybe this one won’t stink.’ We are a hopeful species. Stupid but hopeful. But we’re happy in that moment between the commercial and the purchase. And I think spending your life trying to dupe innocent people out of hard-won earnings to buy useless, low-quality, misrepresented items and services is an excellent use of your energy.