Author: Richard

Dudes winning at Halloween

Dexter Morgan (from the Showtime series Dexter)

Beaker and Bunsen

Blue Screen of Death (from Microsoft)

Edward Scissorhands

The dude from Memento (a movie about a guy with short term memory loss so he has to tattoo recent events on himself)

Awesome-O (from Southpark)

Animal (from the Muppets)

Jay & Silent Bob (From Clerks)

Calvin & Hobbes

Luke Skywalker riding a Ton Ton

Sarah Silverman: Live from N*****head

Maddow started this show strong with the great line that Ron Pauls candidacy isn’t really about winning but more so about whether the Wizard of Oz really was an allegory for the Gold Standard. lulz. She then went into the old “Republicans are scary cuz they’re in love with fetuses” trope and I got bored but luckily Sarah Silvermann came on shortly afterward to slam Rick Perry “Live from N*****head”.

Everything about the story of Perry leasing land with a racial slur painted on a rock is bullshit and smear-tastic and i’m disappointed that Maddow is still covering this 2 weeks after everyone else, including Perrys critics admitted there was no meat to the story. Maddow notes how quickly the story went away but blames that on it being “hard to talk about”. huh? It’s not hard to talk about at all. Especially if you think Perry is a tartar douchebucket – it makes talking about it fun and worth your while. The segment was reaching critical mass of smearage when Maddow kept twisting the knife in my heart, making it harder and harder to continue loving her by moving on to the next bullshit smear against Perry which was that he “insinuated” Obama’s birth certificate wasn’t real and then translating for us that Perry meant to say “don’t worry America. we haven’t really had our first black president yet, because Barack Obama secretly isn’t really the President”. What the fuck? Perry was asked if Obamas birth certificate was real and Perry said it was a stupid issue for anyone to focus on, but in that answer he first rhetorically reacted “I have no idea” so that is what Maddow and the other smearers are referring to as the alleged insinuation. That is rocky enough but then to go on and say Perry was telling people not to worry about there being a black man in the White House because his presidency is illegitimate? Jesus Christ, Maddow.

Thank God Sarah Silverman was introduced immediately following that insanity so this show didn’t become a total loss for Maddow. Silvermans seriousness of this non-issue is stupid, but her gee-wiz delivery as a concerned citizen and comic is a thousand times easier to accept than Maddow (supposed to be an astute commentator and journalist) treating the issue similarly. Silverman ponders as to why this issue hasn’t affected Governor Perry negatively, asking “that’s bizarre, right?” but unfortunately doesn’t develop the thought. I was wondering how exactly renting a piece of property that someone else had named with a racial slur and then painting over a rock that had the offensive word on it is supposed to affect him negatively. “What?? That guy erased a declaration of racism?? Get him!” – huh?

Best Halloween Costumes

Mrs Nesbit version of the mentally and physically broken Buzz Lightyear (from Toy Story 1):

Booze and cigarettes, Father Son edition:

This guy made the best of the flood in Thailand:

Half dude & chick:

Lumpy Space Princess (from Adventure Time):

Oogie Boogie, the Boogie man (from Nightmare before Christmas)

Dave Chappelle’s addict character (Chappele Show)

Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy

Rebecca Black

Baby Ewok:

Ace Ventura:

Dalai Lama

Steve Jobs and tha Ladies

Steve Jobs didn’t buy shit for bitches.

According to Isaacson, Jobs treated the first woman he loved so badly she scrawled ‘neglect is a form of abuse’ on a wall, then later accused him of having Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
Jobs also enraged wife-to-be Laurene Powell by proposing then saying nothing about it for months. Only when she moved out did he buy her a ring….

When dating folk singer Joan Baez in 1982, he told her about a Ralph Lauren dress that would be ‘perfect’ for her. She said: ‘I said to myself, far out, terrific, I’m with one of the world’s richest men and he wants me to his this beautiful dress.’

She said Jobs drove to the shop and said she ought to buy it. When she replied she could not afford it, they left.

Corporations Murder People?

I’ve been seeing the digital image and hand written sign that says “I’ll believe corporations are people when Texas executes one of them” for months and I keep asking “who has been murdered by what corporation?” and no one can ever answer. I suspect I know why…

If the answer is “no one” then the sign is meaningless.

Sorry to give away the ending, but: The answer is “no one” and the sign is meaningless.

It should read “I’ll believe corporations are people when one commits murder”.

If there is a case of an American corporation murdering someone then show it to me so I can publicize the event and look into why it wasn’t properly prosecuted and why the corporation wasn’t executed. It’s not impossible that a Corporation murdered someone and then got away with it while continuing to do business but… no. nevermind. it’s pretty not-possible.

What the legal classification of a Corporation being a person means is not that if you carry it’s documents with you in your car then you can drive in the carpool lane or anything stupid like that – it just means that a corporation can’t be deprived constitutional rights. or in other words: people can’t be deprived of their constitutional rights when they act collectively in commerce (and form a corp). i.e: Corporate personhood says that the government can’t deny fifth amendment rights or free speech rights to a group of people in a corporation just as they can’t to an individual. hippies hate that rule because they hate anything designed to make a profit and that is what a corporation is, so hence their fight against corporate personhood.

But if a corporation murdered anyone then it definitely should be executed. I’m just waiting for the facts behind this phrase…

Dear Hippies: Using clever slogans only remains clever if their content makes sense. If there is no factual basis for your sloganeering then you’re not making a point, you’re unmaking it.

I’m eager to hear all the cases of murder where the perpetrator was a Corporation, so if you’re one of the people who keeps posting this sign on facebook – send em on in!

Show me the time that McDonalds sent out an order to shoot a guy or when Microsoft had someone beat to death in a Dennys parking lot. That’s what murder is, fellas. Willful intent and success at killing innocent humans. Microsoft making shitty products is not murder and McDonalds making fatty food is not murder and only murder is punishable by execution. So. Have at it and i’ll update this post with all your examples.

Current instances of Corporate Murder: 0

UPDATE: Well this is embarrassing. In search of an example that makes this line make sense, I found this image below. Shit. I totally forgot about that time Wal-Mart killed 3 thousand innocent civilians. NEVER FORGET.

This sums up how hippies view private businesses exercising free market capitalism as something to be scared of. which is a sign of a mental disorder or extreme narcissism because people buying things they want would only “scare” the most twisted Communist-minded utopian douche.

Dislike a chain of stores all you want, but if stores selling grooming products, toys, household items, tools, clothes, vitamins, and groceries frightens you, you have some pretty deep psychological problems.

UPDATE: Cory leaves the following comment:

New Forests Company

you lose.

I didn’t know I had bet anything so I don’t know what it is I am losing, but I’ve also never heard of this Corp, so I took to Google which surfaced the following:

The New Forests Company is a UK-based sustainable and socially responsible forestry company with established, rapidly growing plantations and the prospect of a diversified product base for local and regional export markets which will deliver both attractive returns to investors and significant social and environmental benefits.

Oh… UK-based…that might be why I’ve never heard of them and their website says they operate in Africa. I’m not so sure that the American state of Texas can apply it’s death penalty laws to a non-American corporation (nah, I’m just putting it that way to soften the blow. the truth is that I know for a fact that that’s how it works), but if this corporation has been convicted of killing anyone then thats still pretty big, American or not.

[7 minutes on Google later]: It appears there have been no convictions of murder, but some villagers in Uganda gave eye witness reports that New Forests Company security officers killed some unnamed people. Hmm… this is some pretty odd conviction standards: an unnamed eye witness gives an out-of-court report that a non-America Corporation killed an unnamed person or persons in Uganda under unknown circumstances and that has a relation to the American constitution and American law of Corporate Personhood somehow? But of course even if I accept that part – this “some guy killed someone somewhere” is not conviction worth testimony. If Cory – or any of you reading this – has evidence that the New Forest Corporation actually did instruct a murder hit on any individuals in this Ugandan village then even though it’s not American and not subject to our laws, it would be a decent non-American example. I will email Cory and ask if he has info pointing towards just that (which I assume he does on account of me losing) but if you know anything about this you email me too and i’ll update accordingly.

Developing…

UPDATE: Jason comments with more argument that is along the same that leads me to realize more clarity is required for the issue. First, Jasons comment:

Failures of corporations routinely cause harm and death to humans. If you have to ask for sources, then you clearly aren’t paying attention. These abuses are ‘settled out of court’ in civil suits and never reach the criminal justice system.

Google for ‘wrongful death settlements’ and be careful who you believe until you’ve followed their money trail.

I appreciate the attempt in this comment, but it’s no good unless you can also provide examples of when Texas has ever executed someone due to a failure. Who has ever been executed for murder because they failed at safety conditions around their house or property? This comment argues far more that a Corporation is a human than it does against it (again: un-making the point). Humans routinely cause harm and death to humans. So what relevance does that have to the question posed here, which is “What corporation has murdered someone?”. Humans murdering humans are not settled out of court and neither would a corporation murdering anyone. Causing harm is not murder and “causing” death is not even necessarily murder. Wrongful death settlements are in no way examples of murder – they are examples of wrongful deaths.

The search continues for the American Corporation who has ever murdered anyone, ever – OR – the Texas execution of anyone who has ever been involved with wrongful harm or death of someone parallel to that of a corporate example.

Take Note, Ladies: Ideal Breast Shape Found

While most gentleman know that the perfect shaped breast is whatever the one in your hand, Patrick Mallucci, Consultant Plastic Surgeon at University College London and the Royal Free Hospitals conducted a study to find a more acute answer. The surgeon studied 100 glamour models (which sounds like a hugely outdated term but I guess it’s appropriate or at least more so than “bitches who show their tits in magazines for money”) to find out “what it is that makes readers find these breasts appealing to the eye, and whether there is a common theme between them that might define that”.

Titled Concepts In Aesthetic Breast Dimensions: Analysis Of The Ideal Breast, Mallucci’s study analysed the breasts of 100 topless models and came up with this.

‘We used computer measuring tools to examine the dimensions and proportions of each pair of breasts, identifying four features common to all of them,’ he explains.
The features analysed were the dimensions of the upper and lower pole, medical terms that describe the areas above and below the nipple; plus the angle at which the nipple points and the slope of the upper pole.

‘The study revealed that in all cases the nipple ‘‘meridian’’ – the horizontal line drawn at the level of the nipple – lay at a point where, on average, the proportion of the breast above it represented 45 per cent of overall volume of the breast and below it 55 per cent.
‘In the majority of cases the upper pole was either straight or concave, and the nipple was pointing skywards at an average angle of 20 degrees. In all cases the breasts demonstrated a tight convex lower pole – a neat but voluminous curve.

‘For the second part of the study I analysed images of the breasts of ordinary women pre- and post- implant surgery to establish whether, if a breast deviates from these measurements, it becomes less attractive. And the answer is that it does, regardless of size.’

For the first time plastic surgeons now have a powerful visual imagery of the proportions that make a breast attractive. ‘Now we can show women images to highlight shape and form that will actually give them what they want,’ says Mallucci.


Comedians an offensive speech

The first half of this is about TSA groping and then gets into Marc Maron and Dan Savage on Bill Maher saying how much they hate Republicans, which sparks a more interesting discussion between halftime report personality Andy Levy and Ann Coulter on who is allowed to say what. Levy says that comedians should be able to say whatever they want or at least close to whatever they want without being run out of town because – they’re comedians. Coulter disagree’s and she’s right. Not that comedians shouldn’t be allowed to say whatever they want – but that everyone else SHOULD. The barometer should be “is it funny?”. If you make jokes that are not funny and are just offensive then you deserve backlash. If you make an offensive joke that IS funny or at least has a funny premise to it, whether it’s executed perfectly or not, then you’re off the hook. Coulter uses a bit Alec Baldwin did once that had some conservatives foolishly bashing him over while Coulter gives him a pass because duh – it was comedy, even if you don’t think it’s funny. The disagreement with Levy was that Coulter doesn’t limit her “it was a joke” rules to only comedians but rather anyone except elected politicians. Seems right to me.

Skip to the middle for the start of the comedian vs everyone-else debate.

Also, Iron Man (whats his name again? Sammy Davis Jr, I think?) looks like a more polished Marc Maron.