All-Day McBreakfast doesn’t include the most McBreakfastiest item on the menu!

McDonalds is going through some tough times and for some reason all day breakfast is a part of the turn-around strategy, which I don’t understand at either end. I don’t get how serving breakfast menu items is both something that hasn’t been done already given how seemingly easy it is, yet also is fixated to be a profit boosting turnaround tactic. I get that the more menu items that have to be out and either prepared or ready to be prepared means the possibility of more food product waste as ready-made items go unbought in their freshness window while having them made to order (mostly heating pre-cooked items) creates its own problems but neither seem like problems all that hard for a corporation like McDonalds to tackle and solve.

But finally after much public discussion about the possibility, McDonalds has decided to serve breakfast all day. Or at least some of it.

I went to McDonalds today for some breakfast at not-breakfast-time to feel like a baller and jump on this 2015 magic so advanced that Back to the Future (a movie that thought we would have flying cars and hover boards in 2015) didn’t even predict and I ordered a McGriddle. The Spanish accented woman at the counter replied “AH?” so I repeated the word “Mic-Griddle” and she paused with confusion… Which is more than a little odd because – to give away the ending to this story: McGriddles aren’t on the all-day-breakfast menu – but certainly this woman knows what a friggin McGriddle *is*, right? You’ve heard this word before, have you not, madam? I get that it’s not available right now but why are you not immediately telling me *that* instead of acting like this Milk-Greedle thing I speak of is a foreign product? I didn’t order a Grand Slam or a Whopper – I asked for the only breakfast item that has the surname of the establishment in its actual name, and you don’t know what I’m talking about?…

Eventually she put it together and told me “no. we only do thees” and pointed to a placemat menu on the counter with breakfast items that does not include the MC-gridz.

This is insane… Every fast food place that does breakfast has a breakfast sandwich with a biscuit on its menu and McDonalds does too. But the McGriddle is a breakfast sandwich that only McDonalds offers (hence the Mc) and in their big push to remind customers that they are a different and unique place to go – they’ve axed their one proprietary product from the list of options. Madness.

You can get a stack of pancakes and sausage all day, but you can’t get a breakfast sandwich with syrup flavored pancake buns all day.

Wtf are you doing, McDonalds? I don’t even know who you are anymore.

This “26-Ingredient School Lunch Burger” sounds pretty delicious and nutritious.

NPR did this video on hamburgers served in American schools and achieved the opposite of their desired effect. Their description reads “Thiamine mononitrate, disodium inosinate, pyridoxine hydrochloride. In this episode of Tiny Desk Kitchen we explore why so many hard-to-pronounce ingredients ended up in a school burger”. But as soon as you watch the actual video, every ingredient they analyze looks like a perfectly worthy addition to the food.

Just because an ingredient of something you eat is hard for you to pronounce doesn’t make it bad. Acidopholus is one of the best things you can ingest for your guts ecology.

Starving at the Playground

I guess this ad is creative or something but to me it just rings a loud “no shit”. It’s asking “Would you care more if it happened on you’re own doorstep?” and…duh. We literally wouldn’t be able to function if we absorbed all the pain and horror of every sick and dying child across the globe. wtf? No shit things impact us more when we’re in closer proximity to it.

But on the other side: it’s a cool photoshopping of a skeletal kid in an urban playground, so I guess that’s cool enough for a post…

Noodle Ring tells you how much to make for how many are eating

Click the dial to how many people are eating and it shows you the amount of noodles to make???? What sorcery is this!? I must get one of these! I am constantly making the wrong amounts of spaghettizez…

Idk what I’m more fascinated by: the fact that theres a product sales place called JosephJoseph or that they sell this simple but wonderful item.

Plus, I really like the camera shutter slash futuristic electronic door opening. If I bought this product I would constantly look through it and pretend my spaghetti was James Bond while humming the tune and splashing tomato sauce on it at the appropriate musical cue. I also think it goes without saying that I’d have to to put my d#ck through it so I could see how many people it feeds. Naturally.

This innovative, compact spaghetti measure provides an adjustable portion guide for 1-4 servings. Simply slide the small lever around the side of the disc, opening the camera-style aperture to the required portion size. Made from high quality polypropylene, its available in a variety of colours.

You know it’s a UK product cuz of the way they spelled “colors”. Psh. Damn You K’ers for your superior noodle preparing technology…

UPDATE: It took me years into my adult life to work up the chemistry skills to boil water in order to make noodles so I havent made it to making my own rice at home yet, but I imagine the same problem would persist. So while I can’t claim I have this issue yet, the following is still lulzy. A viewer sent me this: