Take Note, Ladies: Ideal Breast Shape Found

While most gentleman know that the perfect shaped breast is whatever the one in your hand, Patrick Mallucci, Consultant Plastic Surgeon at University College London and the Royal Free Hospitals conducted a study to find a more acute answer. The surgeon studied 100 glamour models (which sounds like a hugely outdated term but I guess it’s appropriate or at least more so than “bitches who show their tits in magazines for money”) to find out “what it is that makes readers find these breasts appealing to the eye, and whether there is a common theme between them that might define that”.

Titled Concepts In Aesthetic Breast Dimensions: Analysis Of The Ideal Breast, Mallucci’s study analysed the breasts of 100 topless models and came up with this.

‘We used computer measuring tools to examine the dimensions and proportions of each pair of breasts, identifying four features common to all of them,’ he explains.
The features analysed were the dimensions of the upper and lower pole, medical terms that describe the areas above and below the nipple; plus the angle at which the nipple points and the slope of the upper pole.

‘The study revealed that in all cases the nipple ‘‘meridian’’ – the horizontal line drawn at the level of the nipple – lay at a point where, on average, the proportion of the breast above it represented 45 per cent of overall volume of the breast and below it 55 per cent.
‘In the majority of cases the upper pole was either straight or concave, and the nipple was pointing skywards at an average angle of 20 degrees. In all cases the breasts demonstrated a tight convex lower pole – a neat but voluminous curve.

‘For the second part of the study I analysed images of the breasts of ordinary women pre- and post- implant surgery to establish whether, if a breast deviates from these measurements, it becomes less attractive. And the answer is that it does, regardless of size.’

For the first time plastic surgeons now have a powerful visual imagery of the proportions that make a breast attractive. ‘Now we can show women images to highlight shape and form that will actually give them what they want,’ says Mallucci.


All Grown Up: Cindy Loo Who

Remember the adorable little girl who played Cindy Loo Who in the abortion of a movie that raped the beloved Dr Seuss classic and Frankenstiened it into the 2000 holiday horror? well, 11 years later, she looks different:


But seriously though…I haven’t been up on the Taylor Momsen news and don’t know what she is in or doing now but the gothy punk look makes me guess music of some kind? I’m not gonna google it. I dont wanna know.




UPDATE: I just found out that yes, she does music (also stars on Gossip Girl), she doesn’t turn 18 until next month and evidently she’s started this gimmick of taping her nipples and flashing her audience….oooookay….




And Now An Important Piece on Sarah Palins Boobs

Getting to the bottom of the issues that really affect the country and the world: investigating the accusation that a former politician and present commentator had breast implants since her rack looks bigger in one picture than it does in another from several years ago before she had her most recent child (people familiar with body changes pertaining to pregnancy found the difference less suspicious).

On Fox News, Greta Van Susteren actually addressed the buzz from the blogs and actually asked Palin if she had implants. Which I have mixed feelings about. On the one hand, this is wildly stupid, but on the other, if you have a guest on your show who is the subject of wildly stupid commentary you have an obligation to your viewers to create entertaining and informative content which usually consists of addressing wildly stupid commentary surrounding that guest. It’s more a sign of the emerging prominence of foolish focal points leaking into areas of otherwise serious journalism and current event commentary than it is anything Greta did wrong but it’s still bizarre to the point where even Palin has to acknowledge as much by prefacing her answer to the question with a “bless your heart” style sugar coated way of saying “I can’t believe you actually just said that you crazy b*tch”….

“Clean up and save a whale or something instead of reporting on such stupid things like that”.

Bill O’Reilly’s comment after playing the clip is my reaction exactly. We are now at a place in news media where anchors are delivering hard questions such as “Boob job. Did you have one??”. Oy…

Haley Williams “accidently” uploads topless pic of herself

Idk wtf a “Paramore” is (sounds like something you need to win a card game) or who the hell Haley Williams is, but i DID just find out the song she sings is a song, excatly 1 day ago. I’ve been wondering why so many (always female) on Facebook, Twitter and Myspace have been posting this stupid crap as a status: “Can we pretend that airplanes, In the night sky, Are like shooting stars. I could really use a wish right now”. I finally Googled it yesterday after realizing it must be a song (cuz that’s how females on these sites express themselves: through song lyrics. seriously.. you think im joking.. thats 90% of their posts). The song is posted at the end. The reason I’m writing a post about someone I’ve never heard of is because the first time I saw her today, she had her boobs out. That deserves a little richardland attench.

A topless photo of the flame-haired Paramore frontwoman staring seductively into the camera was tweeted out to her 600,000+ followers on Twitter late today (May 27). There’s no telling how it got there — perhaps her phone was hacked, or she simply uploaded the wrong photo, or she meant to send it in a direct message — but the photo was quickly deleted. But not before getting over 5,000 views. Most of the comments on the naughty shot were from puzzled fans, many simply saying, “WTF,” “OMG,” or “R U Crazy!?”


(yes, yes, I’m linking to the uncensored picture for your nude celebrity research needs)

Evidently she later tweeted that she got hacked. I doubt it. Maybe it was an accident, but my suspicion says more so that it’s a publicity stunt. and I’ve never said that before. I’m always against the crowd that thinks every mistake was done on purpose as a stunt because I (being such a powerful and influential Hollywood industry insider) I know how those things are REALLY crafted and REALLY pulled off. this is fishy, although I can’t be 100% cuz I would think she would take a more flattering boob shot. Even the amateurs that email me their racks on a daily basis know how to do it: standing up taking a picture of yourself in the mirror. Everyone knows thats how its done. sooo… wtf? I call BS.

Investigators Identified Murdered Model by Serial Numbers on Breast Implants

100% awful: Jasmine Fiore, a former Playboy model who was found dead in a suitcase with her fingers and teeth removed, has been identified by her breast implants.

And as if to follow one of those “whats gross? – whats grosser than gross?” black humor jokes, the parents of Ryan Jenkins, the fugitive millionaire reality TV star sought in connection with the murder, have been accused of helping him to evade capture.

Also, if you’re trying to find her Playboy pictures, you’re out of luck because although she worked for Playboy in various capacities, she was never a centerfold and never posed nude for the magazine or any of its representations online or in print.

Fiore’s body was found in a trash bin in Buena Park, Orange County, (about 20 miles south-east of Los Angeles). Her frigging teeth had been pulled out and her fingers cut off, apparently to prevent the body from being identified. Investigators used the serial numbers on her breast implants to identify her, a spokesman for the Orange County’s district attorney’s office said.

And the murder suspect only makes it weirder more wtf-ish…

Authorities believe Mr Jenkins, a millionaire property developer who appeared on the VH1 show “Megan Wants a Millionaire”, fled via car, boat and on foot to enter his native Canada.

Investigators said his father’s private jet flew from Honduras to the US around the time Mr Jenkins made his escape.

They believe he has been in contact with his mother, who lives in Vancouver, British Columbia, and, despite the international manhunt, she has allegedly been assisting him.

I feel like we skipped over this just a little too quickly. Reminder: “The victim had been badly beaten, all of her fingers had been cut off, and all of her teeth had been forcibly removed,” said a statement from the California prosecutors…

Now the suspect boyfriend found dead. ug…

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